Snipped!

Write-brained · Jun 19, 2008

Chef said:

Take it from your boy Chef.

I got snipped back in 2001.

I'm laying back on the table.....my wife (who is enthralled with all things blood, sans my foot) is laughing, telling jokes, and once told the doctor to move his arm so she could see what he was cutting on.

My response......."Baby........he's cutting on my balls.....let the man do his work."

They give you two shots in each nut.

First one smarts a little bit....just feels like you got punched in the nuts, but not a Lennox Lewis punch, more like a Emanuel Lewis punch.

Whole thing took 20 minutes......doc says to relax for a few days.

I go, get a 12-pack....sat in my favorite rocking chair for two days in a pair of boxers with an ice-pack held up to them.

Doc says that after a couple weeks, you need to start getting the "potent junk" out of your system.....I get a big shit-eating grin on my face, Mrs. Chef immediately gets a migraine.

There is no better feeling in the world than having your wife walk up to you with a fresh copy of Playboy, handing it to you, and say "Here....time to go beat off!"
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! They keep you awake?????

NO FUCKING WAY.

Tom Petty · Jun 19, 2008

schiezainc said:

patchs said:

Do it, it'll be worth it.
You can screw and not worry about getting knocked up, stress free sex.
And like Idaho told me, a bag of frozen peas will be your best friend after the procedure.
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Just make sure to wait until AFTER you're out of the supermarket before you use them. Those clerks can be cocky.
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excuse me, but wouldn't they be more ballsy in this instance?

Bob Cook · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

kokane_muthashed said:

If you do it, make sure the doc cauterizes the vas deferens, not just stitch it closed. I had a vasectomy after my second child was born. Got the stitch job. Three years (and one divorce) later, Baby No. 3 was conceived. To say I was shocked would be an understatement!

Here I thought the factory was shut down, but the boys were still on the job!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you be able to tell by the fact that um, stuff, was coming out? Or is that not a side effect of the stitch thing.
Click to expand...

Also, stuff, um, comes out. But it's like, shall we say, pulp free.

As for rather having heart surgery? After seeing my father go through the pain of a sextuple-bypass -- nuh-uh.

BYH · Jun 19, 2008

Chef said:

Take it from your boy Chef.

I got snipped back in 2001.

I'm laying back on the table.....my wife (who is enthralled with all things blood, sans my foot) is laughing, telling jokes, and once told the doctor to move his arm so she could see what he was cutting on.

My response......."Baby........he's cutting on my balls.....let the man do his work."

They give you two shots in each nut.

First one smarts a little bit....just feels like you got punched in the nuts, but not a Lennox Lewis punch, more like a Emanuel Lewis punch.

Whole thing took 20 minutes......doc says to relax for a few days.

I go, get a 12-pack....sat in my favorite rocking chair for two days in a pair of boxers with an ice-pack held up to them.

Doc says that after a couple weeks, you need to start getting the "potent junk" out of your system.....I get a big shit-eating grin on my face, Mrs. Chef immediately gets a migraine.

There is no better feeling in the world than having your wife walk up to you with a fresh copy of Playboy, handing it to you, and say "Here....time to go beat off!"
Click to expand...

Words cannot possibly express how disappointed I am that this post didn't contain a single word about you giving yourself a vascetomy.

That's it. I'm outta here. For real this time.

21 · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

kokane_muthashed said:

If you do it, make sure the doc cauterizes the vas deferens, not just stitch it closed. I had a vasectomy after my second child was born. Got the stitch job. Three years (and one divorce) later, Baby No. 3 was conceived. To say I was shocked would be an understatement!

Here I thought the factory was shut down, but the boys were still on the job!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you be able to tell by the fact that um, stuff, was coming out? Or is that not a side effect of the stitch thing.
Click to expand...

You need to do your homework here. Semen still comes out...there's just no sperm in it. You'll never know the difference.

Write-brained · Jun 19, 2008

Bob Cook said:

Write-brained said:

Rosie said:

You do it.

She's had to spend nine months per baby being pregnant.

The big V doesn't take that long and healing time is fairly fast.

And if she's pestering you about it, it's best you do it.
Click to expand...

But I really don't want to ... it's just so permanent.
Click to expand...

So will your lack of sex if you don't do it.

I had it done after baby No. 4. (Was supposed to after baby No. 3, but it's a long story. I was willing to do it, but my wife was, shall we say, a little more insistent post-baby 4.) Everyday dental procedures are far worse. At the risk of TMI, I was in stirrups -- the one time a guy is in stirrups -- and the urologist put a small curtain up so I didn't see what was going on. We chatted amiably throughout the procedure. My brother-in-law went to a doctor who gives you headphones and your choice of music. Maybe you should look for one of those.

The recovery hurt, but then again I had a rare weekend when I could sit on my ass and watch TV, read and play video games without parental responsibilities. When you get to baby No. 4, you grab any excuse for a break you can, even if it means a little slice under the scrotum. (I'd do it again, if I could get away with it.) I think I was back at work Monday. And I had pain meds that I took, but believe you me, I was not going to complain about this to the woman who went through four deliveries. It ain't THAT kind of pain.

Funny story from my urologist. In the consultation before the surgery, he gave me a low-dose Valium that he instructed I take the morning of the snip. I asked him why he gave those out. He said it's because a lot of men are extremely nervous otherwise, and he's had guys throw up on him. I bet those are the moments when the doctor wonders whether urology was the wrong specialty to pick.

Anyway, man up, get snipped, and enjoy stress-free lovin', knowing your wife isn't going to say, "Guess what!" Or if she does, you won't need Maury to know it's not yours.
Click to expand...

They're going to have to knock me the fuck out.

Write-brained · Jun 19, 2008

21 said:

Write-brained said:

kokane_muthashed said:

If you do it, make sure the doc cauterizes the vas deferens, not just stitch it closed. I had a vasectomy after my second child was born. Got the stitch job. Three years (and one divorce) later, Baby No. 3 was conceived. To say I was shocked would be an understatement!

Here I thought the factory was shut down, but the boys were still on the job!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you be able to tell by the fact that um, stuff, was coming out? Or is that not a side effect of the stitch thing.
Click to expand...

You need to do your homework here. Semen still comes out...there's just no sperm in it. You'll never know the difference.
Click to expand...

So I should stop sticking my fingers in my ears and humming whenever my wife brings up the topic?

BYH · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

When you (meaning BYH) compares it with what my wife went through and will go through, I guess that makes it somewhat more bearable. Still, I'd rather have heart surgery.
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong: Just the mere thought of it makes me cringe. But compared to what women go thru giving birth...it's a small price to pay. Once again, so to speak.

buckweaver · Jun 19, 2008

Hell, W-B, they kept me awake when a friggin' laser was slicing through my cornea. My vision went blind for 15 seconds -- I was conscious for the whole thing (gotta be, 'cause they can't operate with your eyes closed.)

If the anasthesia does its job, it don't matter if you're awake or dead. You ain't gonna feel shit.

schiezainc · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

21 said:

Write-brained said:

kokane_muthashed said:

If you do it, make sure the doc cauterizes the vas deferens, not just stitch it closed. I had a vasectomy after my second child was born. Got the stitch job. Three years (and one divorce) later, Baby No. 3 was conceived. To say I was shocked would be an understatement!

Here I thought the factory was shut down, but the boys were still on the job!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you be able to tell by the fact that um, stuff, was coming out? Or is that not a side effect of the stitch thing.
Click to expand...

You need to do your homework here. Semen still comes out...there's just no sperm in it. You'll never know the difference.
Click to expand...

So I should stop sticking my fingers in my ears and humming whenever my wife brings up the topic?
Click to expand...

I think if you get this done, she should have to blow you at least three times afterwards until you're sure everything is back in order.

Chef · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

Bob Cook said:

Write-brained said:

Rosie said:

You do it.

She's had to spend nine months per baby being pregnant.

The big V doesn't take that long and healing time is fairly fast.

And if she's pestering you about it, it's best you do it.
Click to expand...

But I really don't want to ... it's just so permanent.
Click to expand...

So will your lack of sex if you don't do it.

I had it done after baby No. 4. (Was supposed to after baby No. 3, but it's a long story. I was willing to do it, but my wife was, shall we say, a little more insistent post-baby 4.) Everyday dental procedures are far worse. At the risk of TMI, I was in stirrups -- the one time a guy is in stirrups -- and the urologist put a small curtain up so I didn't see what was going on. We chatted amiably throughout the procedure. My brother-in-law went to a doctor who gives you headphones and your choice of music. Maybe you should look for one of those.

The recovery hurt, but then again I had a rare weekend when I could sit on my ass and watch TV, read and play video games without parental responsibilities. When you get to baby No. 4, you grab any excuse for a break you can, even if it means a little slice under the scrotum. (I'd do it again, if I could get away with it.) I think I was back at work Monday. And I had pain meds that I took, but believe you me, I was not going to complain about this to the woman who went through four deliveries. It ain't THAT kind of pain.

Funny story from my urologist. In the consultation before the surgery, he gave me a low-dose Valium that he instructed I take the morning of the snip. I asked him why he gave those out. He said it's because a lot of men are extremely nervous otherwise, and he's had guys throw up on him. I bet those are the moments when the doctor wonders whether urology was the wrong specialty to pick.

Anyway, man up, get snipped, and enjoy stress-free lovin', knowing your wife isn't going to say, "Guess what!" Or if she does, you won't need Maury to know it's not yours.
Click to expand...

They're going to have to knock me the fuck out.
Click to expand...

Jesus.

Something smells like pussy.

Bob Cook · Jun 19, 2008

Write-brained said:

Bob Cook said:

Write-brained said:

Rosie said:

You do it.

She's had to spend nine months per baby being pregnant.

The big V doesn't take that long and healing time is fairly fast.

And if she's pestering you about it, it's best you do it.
Click to expand...

But I really don't want to ... it's just so permanent.
Click to expand...

So will your lack of sex if you don't do it.

I had it done after baby No. 4. (Was supposed to after baby No. 3, but it's a long story. I was willing to do it, but my wife was, shall we say, a little more insistent post-baby 4.) Everyday dental procedures are far worse. At the risk of TMI, I was in stirrups -- the one time a guy is in stirrups -- and the urologist put a small curtain up so I didn't see what was going on. We chatted amiably throughout the procedure. My brother-in-law went to a doctor who gives you headphones and your choice of music. Maybe you should look for one of those.

The recovery hurt, but then again I had a rare weekend when I could sit on my ass and watch TV, read and play video games without parental responsibilities. When you get to baby No. 4, you grab any excuse for a break you can, even if it means a little slice under the scrotum. (I'd do it again, if I could get away with it.) I think I was back at work Monday. And I had pain meds that I took, but believe you me, I was not going to complain about this to the woman who went through four deliveries. It ain't THAT kind of pain.

Funny story from my urologist. In the consultation before the surgery, he gave me a low-dose Valium that he instructed I take the morning of the snip. I asked him why he gave those out. He said it's because a lot of men are extremely nervous otherwise, and he's had guys throw up on him. I bet those are the moments when the doctor wonders whether urology was the wrong specialty to pick.

Anyway, man up, get snipped, and enjoy stress-free lovin', knowing your wife isn't going to say, "Guess what!" Or if she does, you won't need Maury to know it's not yours.
Click to expand...

They're going to have to knock me the fuck out.
Click to expand...

Aw, Jesus, man up, Nancy. Impacted wisdom teeth taken out? Painful, even under general anesthesia. School nurse twisting my broken wrist in high school to see if it hurt. God damn right it hurt. Double ear infection that knocked meout for a week? Excruciating. Getting the vas deferens plant closed? 15-20 minutes and no worries.

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