Snipped!

Holy shit. I was going to say the same thing.

Well, in that case.....

Nah, dude, don't get it done. Just tell her that when you have sex she has to be on top because everyone knows women can't get preggers when they're on top. That's just gravity.

 

Do it, it'll be worth it.
You can screw and not worry about getting knocked up, stress free sex.
And like Idaho told me, a bag of frozen peas will be your best friend after the procedure.

 

Wouldn't you be able to tell by the fact that um, stuff, was coming out? Or is that not a side effect of the stitch thing.

 

Just make sure to wait until AFTER you're out of the supermarket before you use them. Those clerks can be cocky.

 

Take it from your boy Chef.

I got snipped back in 2001.

I'm laying back on the table.....my wife (who is enthralled with all things blood, sans my foot) is laughing, telling jokes, and once told the doctor to move his arm so she could see what he was cutting on.

My response......."Baby........he's cutting on my balls.....let the man do his work."

They give you two shots in each nut.

First one smarts a little bit....just feels like you got punched in the nuts, but not a Lennox Lewis punch, more like a Emanuel Lewis punch.

Whole thing took 20 minutes......doc says to relax for a few days.

I go, get a 12-pack....sat in my favorite rocking chair for two days in a pair of boxers with an ice-pack held up to them.

Doc says that after a couple weeks, you need to start getting the "potent junk" out of your system.....I get a big shit-eating grin on my face, Mrs. Chef immediately gets a migraine.

There is no better feeling in the world than having your wife walk up to you with a fresh copy of Playboy, handing it to you, and say "Here....time to go beat off!"

 

"Snip snap snip snap snip snap!"

 

So will your lack of sex if you don't do it.

I had it done after baby No. 4. (Was supposed to after baby No. 3, but it's a long story. I was willing to do it, but my wife was, shall we say, a little more insistent post-baby 4.) Everyday dental procedures are far worse. At the risk of TMI, I was in stirrups -- the one time a guy is in stirrups -- and the urologist put a small curtain up so I didn't see what was going on. We chatted amiably throughout the procedure. My brother-in-law went to a doctor who gives you headphones and your choice of music. Maybe you should look for one of those.

The recovery hurt, but then again I had a rare weekend when I could sit on my ass and watch TV, read and play video games without parental responsibilities. When you get to baby No. 4, you grab any excuse for a break you can, even if it means a little slice under the scrotum. (I'd do it again, if I could get away with it.) I think I was back at work Monday. And I had pain meds that I took, but believe you me, I was not going to complain about this to the woman who went through four deliveries. It ain't THAT kind of pain.

Funny story from my urologist. In the consultation before the surgery, he gave me a low-dose Valium that he instructed I take the morning of the snip. I asked him why he gave those out. He said it's because a lot of men are extremely nervous otherwise, and he's had guys throw up on him. I bet those are the moments when the doctor wonders whether urology was the wrong specialty to pick.

Anyway, man up, get snipped, and enjoy stress-free lovin', knowing your wife isn't going to say, "Guess what!" Or if she does, you won't need Maury to know it's not yours.

 

When you (meaning BYH) compares it with what my wife went through and will go through, I guess that makes it somewhat more bearable. Still, I'd rather have heart surgery.

 

No, no. You can't get pregnant in water, so it's just the pools and showers for you two.


By the way: It took me four tries to post that stupid joke. It hardly seems worth it now.

 

A friend of mine also had one, except the anesthesia hadn't kicked in.
I don't need to say any more.

 

Fixed.

 

You should wait till it's March Madness time and then get it done.

That way you have an excuse to be out of work and you can sit around, watch TV in your skivvies all while icing those bad boys.