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Snip snip

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JackReacher, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    /deep breath

    Ok, have any guys here had a vasectomy? I've been planning on getting it for the last couple years, but I think I'm ready to pull the trigger fairly soon.

    If you've had it done, please share your story. I need every detail from what happens at the consultation to how long you took off work, if at all. Everything.

    Every time I think about setting up an appointment, I remember this story and immediately stop thinking about setting up an appointment.


    Much thanks.
  2. Steak Snabler

    Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

  3. Had it done three kids ago (one kid too late!), about 8 years ago.
    It was pretty simple. Out-patient surgery.

    Pre-op: The told me shave the area the night before. I'm thinking ok, shave the testicles. I guess I didn't shave enough. 'Cause they had to do some additional work when I came in that morning. They clear cut the whole area!

    During the surgery:
    I'm on the table, junk splayed out, surrounded by a coupe of nurses and there's a large, flat screen TV over my head airing Sportscenter! It was on the WHOLE time. Not for me, cause I couldn't see it from my vantage point. I had to ask them to turn it down.
    It's bad enough you are on a cold table, in a cold room (Shrinkage!) with your twig and berries out surrounded by three female nurses. BUT ... during the surgery, there pressure on the nerves around the testes can also cause some patients to defecate. Not me, Thank God! But I was close enough to be worried. The doctor said its not unusual to release your bowels during the procedure. So, uh, drop the kids off at the pool before going in!

    Post-Op: There was some soreness, but no big issues. I think I missed a half day or maybe one day of work. I had a desk job.

    PS ... Do you have kids?
  4. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    No kids. I'd like to keep it that way.
  5. Monday Morning Sportswriter

    Monday Morning Sportswriter Well-Known Member

    That column was an amazing read.
  6. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    You misspelled terrifying.
    cyclingwriter2 and Chef2 like this.
  7. Chef2

    Chef2 Well-Known Member

    Had it done 13 years ago on a Friday.
    The anticipation leading up to it is horrifying.
    So, they call my name. My wife goes into the room with me.
    Doctor (whom I known for the better part of 30 years) looks at me and says "You want any more kids?".......
    I say "Nope"
    He says "Ok then"
    So......I'm laying back on the table......naked to the world.
    They give you two shots in each nut. (The first shot in each one is what hurts the worst through the entire procedure......It feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent.)
    20 minutes. In. Out. Done.
    Grabbed a case of beer on the way home.
    Sat in a La-Z-Boy in a pair of boxers with a bag of frozen corn held up to my sack for 36 hours and polished off most of that case of beer.
    The best part of the entire thing......... after it's all done.......you have to get all the swimmers out of your system.......so when your wife hands you a fresh copy of Playboy and tells you to get busy...........
    JackReacher likes this.
  8. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    From that column:

    When I turned 40, I went in for an annual physical, and my doctor did a prostate check. ... except I wasn't ready for it. I was turned over facing the wall, and I guess he slipped the glove on and went in. ... His quip, "Welcome to your 40s."

    I have nothing else to add. I am not snipped. I have no intention of ever getting snipped.
  9. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    "If feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent."
  10. Fly

    Fly Well-Known Member

    Consider the source ;)
    SpeedTchr likes this.
  11. SpeedTchr

    SpeedTchr Well-Known Member

    Uhhh, I think your doc ass-raped you. I've never had that indignity and I am way past 40. One guy tried and I told him, "Doc, I don't know you that well."
  12. cjericho

    cjericho Well-Known Member

    Planned parenthood has condoms.
    Riptide likes this.
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