Sleep training your kids in Brooklyn

We were horrible with the sleep training for our daughter. She had some digestive issues through about 6 months and was an utter crying misery about 80% of the time. After that, we had no spine about letting her cry and as a result, she knew that we would pick her up. We were up usually 2 times a night with her. After she turned 1 (and we both aged about 10 years), we talked to our pediatrician and she told us that we weren't being fair to our daughter or ourselves.

We decide to do sleep training over the Labor Day weekend. On the Thursday night, we are going to do a test run, but try not to go in her room or pick her up. She woke up once and I went into her room and talked to her but wouldn't pick her up. Lots of crying but eventually went back to sleep after 30 minutes. The next night, she slept straight through night and never looked back.

 

My oldest, now 11, was having a terrible night the first time my wife was on call and out of the house all night. He was three months and I don't think it had anything to do with her being gone, he just was having a bad night and I had to deal with it all by myself. Finally around 4 a.m. I just turned off the baby monitor, closed all the doors, put pillows on my head, whatever. He eventually fell asleep, although I don't know when. He almost entirely slept through the night without issue from that moment on. I did cry it out by accident, and maybe a little earlier than some would, but I was convinced from that moment you just have to let them go.

Our second was not quite as successful, but we kept him in our room longer than we otherwise would have because he was going to share a room with his brother and we didn't want him being disturbed. Somewhere around six or seven months when I couldn't take his crappy sleeping any more we put him in his room -- no one, even his brother, was sleeping anyway. It was almost magic that he started sleeping fine pretty much immediately.

We have two other sons now ranging from 2 to that 11 and have done some sort of cry it out and we have zero bad sleepers. We don't let anyone sleep in our room. If they come in we comfort or address whatever they are having an issue with and lead them back to their beds. My youngest never has responded to us going to his room if he wakes up, it always just made it worse, so we just let him be even if it takes a while (and face it, most parents can tell a serious cry from just being a pain in the butt in the middle of the night cry anyway).

Maybe we're just lucky but I'm certain how we've handled this and sticking to our guns has helped us have good sleepers. I loved how she kept bringing up locking the door. She obviously knows that's right in some way or she wouldn't keep mentioning it. Don't complain about sleep issues when you never actually tried to address it or listen to any actual medical experts.

 

Twenty years from now, kids growing up today will hear the name "Park Slope" and shudder... just the way Spanish loyalists used to at the mention of Guernica.

 

Last night: Boy falls asleep at 7 on the couch. I go upstairs and lay in bed. I fall asleep around 10 (thank you, baseball!). About midnight, I'm woken up by the sound of little feet on the stairs. At first he lies down in the extra bed in the playroom, but eventually moves into the bed with me. He has a thing with sensory sleeping, so after getting him off me and covering him up next to me, I think he has fallen asleep. I tip-toe downstairs and hit the couch. Five minutes later, little feet on the stairs again. I convince him to lay in his bed, but there's always a catch. "Daddy lay down, Daddy lay down." So now I can either leave him in the room and hope he doesn't bang on the door and wake up his sister or lie down with him and hope he falls asleep soon. I choose the latter. We lie down on his bed. After about 10 minutes, I try to sneak out. He wakes up. Another 10 minutes, another failed escape. At this point, I put him in the giant chair bed he usually falls asleep in and lie down on the floor, in front of the door. This way, he's placated by proximity and I can make sure he doesn't get out of his room. Once again, after about 10 minutes, I hear him snoring and try to sneak out. The creak of the door wakes him up. Fuck. So I leave the door open enough that I can eventually make my escape when the time is right. It's about 1 a.m. now. I close my eyes and give in. I come to and he really is asleep this time. I get up, slink out of his room and on my way to the couch notice it's 2:30. I just slept on the floor for 90 minutes. I lie down on the couch and quickly fall back asleep. Four hours later, the sound of little feet.

 

Bless your heart ...