1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Slate: 'I hate how much I love to grill'

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Dick Whitman, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    The author wrestles with something I presume we all do from time to time when we turn on the grill, "the sense that I've fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I've spent years trying to undo."

    I'm glad someone finally had the guts to take this on.

    Grilling, feminism, and masculinity: A grand unified theory.

    I hate how much I love to grill. It’s not that I’m inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I’m uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine. Looming over the coals, tongs in hand, I feel estranged from myself, recast in the role of suburban dad. At such moments, I get the sense that I’ve fallen into a societal trap, one that reaffirms gender roles I’ve spent years trying to undo. The whole business feels retrograde, a relic of some earlier, less inclusive era.

    Later, the author looks back with humiliation at a photo from college of him grilling burgers at a cookout.

    On the one hand, there’s the peculiar alchemy of sun and smoke that makes summer days sprawl. On the other hand, it bears the stain of unintentional masculine cliché. Gathered around the coals with beers slung low, we’re all but enacting a myth of the American man, telling a story in postures and poses. No longer mere Ph.D. students, we have become bros.
  2. YankeeFan

    YankeeFan Well-Known Member

    To counter these emotions, and to get in touch with his inner feminist, he should let his wife sleep with other dudes:

    As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It’s her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex. I won’t explode with anger or seethe with resentment. I’ll tell her it’s a hot story and I’m glad she had fun. It’s hot because she’s excited, and I’m glad because I’m a feminist.

    What Open Marriage Taught One Man About Feminism -- The Cut
    JackReacher likes this.
  3. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    This petty fear has led us as a culture to place judgments on the entire spectrum of female sexual expression: If a woman likes sex, she’s a whore and a slut; if she only likes sex with her husband or boyfriend, she’s boring and lame; if she doesn’t like sex at all, she’s frigid and unfeeling. Every option is a trap.

    I know, right?!

    Mrs. Whitman frequently comes home upset because people call her "boring and lame" for the bolded part!
    Batman, Big Circus and YankeeFan like this.
  4. MisterCreosote

    MisterCreosote Well-Known Member

    Didn't get past that terrible headline, bro.
  5. YankeeFan

    YankeeFan Well-Known Member

    Author is probably desperately trying to get into Taylor Swift, and hating the fact the he likes Bruce Springsteen more.
    bigpern23 and JackReacher like this.
  6. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    Which one?
  7. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    You should read the supplemental material that YF linked to. I think you'll really find yourself nodding in approval.
  8. MisterCreosote

    MisterCreosote Well-Known Member

    "Grillax, Bro."

    Also, a note on the subhede: If you self-identify as a "dude," chances are pretty high you're actually a douchebag.
  9. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Freqposter: curing women from being boring and lame
    Batman, jpetrie18 and Big Circus like this.
  10. YankeeFan

    YankeeFan Well-Known Member

    Author is going to be really upset to learn that he's also racist due to his love of Seinfeld reruns:

  11. MisterCreosote

    MisterCreosote Well-Known Member

    Monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression, and, not to get all women’s-studies major about it, patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man’s fear that a woman with sexual agency is a woman he can’t control.

    Wow. Just, wow.
  12. MisterCreosote

    MisterCreosote Well-Known Member

    Presumably, since I also like the Indigo Girls, I'm in the clear for my fandom of more masculine bands.
    doctorquant and YankeeFan like this.
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page