SJ.commers: What Would You Do?

Small Claims Court

 

Or look at the $2K as a "Get out of my life" payment.

 

When you say family member.....sister? Third cousin? Mother's second husband's ex-daughter-in-law?

Sister, you have to work it out. Beyond that, decide after you see how she responds to your request.

 

Thanks, guys. For the record, it's my sister. I guess I just have to shelve the histrionics and find out just what's going on. That's going to be tough since I just found out thru my other sister that a week after she got my 2K, she tried to borrow another $1,200 from our fixed-income parents. Now, I'm also half-worried, wondering where the money's really going. It's not like she's a junkie -- I hope! -- she's a fairly high ranking faculty member at a college. I wish I could have a discussion face-to-face. I just need to get to the bottom of it all.

 

Thanks Vinnie.

 

Sorry to hear it's your sister...I feel your pain. My brother is world-class irresponsible...sweet guy, bad luck, can't make a good decision to save his own life (literally). Some years ago, I loaned him a substantial chuck of money--five figures--so he could get divorced from his cheating drunken wife and get custody of the kids. In hindsight--lesson to us all--I should have had the attorney bill me directly, but no, I wrote my brother a check.

A month later, he got back together with her, took the kids to DisneyWorld, bought a used Mercedes, and quit his job to paint pictures of birds. When I asked about repayment of the loan, he said he was under the impression it was a gift, and why was I not happy that his marriage was saved.

I was lambasted by my delightful family for expecting repayment. Apparently, if you work really hard and make good money, your deadbeat siblings are entitled to steal from you.

Anyone here who has been occasionally forced to hear about my family might notice that I have never mentioned this brother in my sagas. Not an oversight.

 

That, and no good deed goes unpunished.

The sad part is, if he had tried to repay me, I would have told him no rush, to keep it until life was working better. I didn't need the money right then, he did....it was his sense of entitlement that crushed me.

 

Killick,

Forgive the debt, forgive your sister for not paying, and find out what's going on. The money seems immaterial compared to her asking for it from numerous sources. That suggests you're not the first or the last person in the loan chain; you may be one of four or five.

99% of the time, people know they're putting their relationship at jeopardy by asking for more than, say, $100. So your sister knew she was doing something stupid. The easiest way to release the anger is to forgive the debt and get the bottom of her money troubles.

 

Relative: "Hey can I borrow-"
Me: "OUT!"
Relative: "But it's for-"
Me: "OUT!"
Relative: "B-"
Me: "OUT!"

Learned my lesson damn near 20 years ago.

 

If you'd like to trade sisters, please let me know.
Two grand would be an easy trade for my knucklehead of a sister and her tin-foil hat hubby