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SJ.com turns real: Horny dolphins attack Jessica Alba & Susan Sarandon

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Perry White, Jun 12, 2006.

  1. Perry White

    Perry White Active Member

    http://www.nypost.com/seven/06122006/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

    Alba's Horror:
    "Dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being and they have long, long," the "Sin City" hottie told MTV. ". . . I didn't know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. I sort of requested female dolphins after that because those are horny little b-s."

    As word got around, her friends and family "did dolphin-squeaking noises anytime they talked to me, which was pretty annoying."

    Sarandon's near-death experience:
    In the mid-'70s, Timothy Leary got her an invite to interact with dolphins at a San Francisco lab researching how human the graceful sea creatures can be.
    ...
    "After he trusted me more, I took hold of Joe's fin and we glided around the tank together. Then Joe stopped swimming horizontally and pushed up against me. I thought the whole experience was just groovy until I felt this horrible pain on my wrist, which was holding Joe's fin."

    Suddenly, researchers jumped in, fully clothed, and rushed to the actress, who had been bitten.

    "I could hear them shouting, 'No, Rosie! Don't!' I looked over and Joe's mate, this huge dolphin I hadn't even noticed before, was virtually standing up right out of the water, towering over me on its rear fins," she said. "She seemed to be 12 feet tall, emitting this loud, high-pitched noise. The attendants were screaming, 'We've got to get you out!' I was afraid I was going to get my other arm broken."

    Later, researchers told Sarandon that Rosie's bite, which took months to heal, was a "warning nibble," and that "if she had made that plunge toward me, I would have been killed instantly, as surely as if Rosie had been a shark. Apparently, an enraged, jealous dolphin is incredibly dangerous. What a way to die! Who would have believed it?"
     
  2. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member

    Didn't Carl Hiassen have a book where someone got f***ed to death by a dolphin?
    Seems like I saw an interview with him and it was one of the things that had really happened in Florida.
     
  3. Giggity

    Giggity Member

    There was an entire King of the Hill espisode based on horny dolphins going after humans.
     
  4. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Hiaasen. Not trying to be a dick, just one of my things.
    GREAT author. Strip Tease and Basket Case are two quality books among his many quality books.
    Wonder when he has another one coming?
     
  5. OTD

    OTD Active Member

    I love his earlier stuff--even have a few books he co-wrote with another guy, Bill Montalbano. It seems sometimes lately he's just filling in the blanks (see Lucky You) although Basket Case was pretty good.
     
  6. flaming_mo

    flaming_mo Guest

    Have we heard from Flipper lately?
     
  7. flipper

    flipper Member

    It's twoo! It's twoo! That bitch was going after my man! I gave her SUCH a haircut!
     
  8. Rufino

    Rufino Active Member

    It's in the book Native Tounge - one of his better efforts although all are at least good. God knows he's got enough material to choose from - things in Florida are so weird it's just a matter of picking which stuff to include each book. Tourist Season is one book of his everyone should read.
     
  9. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    From the Hiaasen website:

    "Carl's new book Nature Girl will be published in November."

    He's easily my favorite author. I just got "Hoot" for my 8 year old - we'll be reading that this summer.
     
  10. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Is it another choldren's book?
     
  11. Flash

    Flash Guest

    I'm starting Skinny Dip tonight.
     
  12. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    From Booklist Online:

    BKL: What can you tell us about your next novel?

    HIAASEN: I’m in the last painful thrashes of a new adult novel called Nature Girl, which should be released later this year. I’m very superstitious and jinxed about revealing anything until I’m done with it. I will say it’s a little different. It’s set on 10,000 Islands, located off the extreme southwest coast of Florida.
     
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