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SJ.COM All-purpose dating thread

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mustangj17, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. slytiger

    slytiger Member

    I'm just saying what worked for me, of course I can only speak from what I've seen or experienced but I guess it comes down to the type of woman you are looking for.
    If I'm on a non-date date and the woman just assumes that it's a "just friends" outing then I didn't do my job as a man because I failed to create enough sexual tension or attraction.
  2. ServeItUp

    ServeItUp Active Member

    Mustang, this might help clear things up.

  3. Gene Parmesan

    Gene Parmesan Member

    Indeed. I've begun using the words 'date' in the conversation, pointing out that it is an attempt at courtship and should be treated as such (though, I totally use more romantic words than that...). Really helps square things away.
  4. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Do they have another version if the girl was dumped via facebook?
  5. Ok, my situation is kind of like mustang's, but just a little different, and I don't know what is the right thing to do.

    My girlfriend of five months broke up with me a couple weeks ago. It wasn't a long relationship, obviously, but long enough to get invested emotionally quite a bit. She decided to break up with me because she said our age difference (I'm 26, she's 20) was starting to get in the way of things. It hurt, but I've learned to deal.

    Now, her life-long best friend and I have always clicked very well, even though I didn't meet her until the day of my birthday this past January when the ex and I were just friends who were working together. Well, the best friend called me after the break-up and said she wanted to stay friends with me no matter what happened between the ex and I and asked if I wanted to get together for coffee and just chat sometime. I said of course, and we're supposed to get together tomorrow.

    Under normal circumstances, the best friend is someone I would most certainly be interested in getting to know better, and even now I'd like to get to know her better. But I also don't want to break up a life-long friendship between she and the ex.

    So my question is, do I owe it to myself to do whatever I think is going to make me happy and try to pursue something with the best friend? Since my ex decided to end things, is the best friend fair game? Or do I just have to continue to be the nice guy I'm known to be and suck it up and move on?
  6. luckyducky

    luckyducky Guest

    Every single thing you post, I read in Kevin's voice. And it just makes it that much better.
  7. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Prepper, my sense is that if she actually went out of her way to contact you after the break-up, she may very well be interested in you. I don't see anything wrong with at least seeing where it might lead......especially considering you weren't the one who ended things with your ex.
  8. luckyducky

    luckyducky Guest

    That's on the girls to fight out. There is a similar chick code related to the 'bro code', so it's between them if the second one wants to date you after the first girl has. You might look like a bit of a douche/player to the general group of friends, which is the only thing to really concern yourself with...
  9. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    RedHot, Easy. First, your girlfriend broke up with you, you didn't break up with her, right? I can't think of anything in the world that should make you feel guilty about pursuing her friend if you are interested, ESPECIALLY if her friend asked you out without you going on the hunt for her. It doesn't sound like you are playing any games; no spiteful "hurt the friend" or "hurt her by going for the friend" games. So don't think so much. Just go for it.

    Meet up with her friend and if there is anything there let it develop naturally; if nothing develops, roll with it too. But as far as any kind of "code" with regard to that sort of thing. ... you don't owe the woman who broke up with you much of anything, other than to stay clear and move on with your life. It's particularly easy, because her friend suggested you get together, you didn't go hunting for her. So just go for it.

    Also, if these are 20-year-olds, I wouldn't sweat it that much. I am going to sound old, and I am, but at 20, I don't think anyone (man or woman) has any clue about anything. Just do what makes you happy as long as you aren't intentionally trying to hurt anyone and you have nothing to apologize for.
  10. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Hahahahaha.....ZING!!! :D
  11. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    Shocking he's having problems with relationships, esp. given that second post. I wouldn't be in the same room with somebody who viewed women like that.
  12. This is what I was hoping to hear. I don't want to be the one to push things into happening, but I'd love to see where things go. So, I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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