Six crazy ideas for saving Detroit

Do you think any of these could work?

 

Libertarians, LOLZ.

 

Think someone can come up with one good one?

 

Get rid of all those silly child-labor laws, OSHA, anti-slavery laws, all those niggling anti-pollution regulations. We could have slave armies of kindergartners pouring pure mercury into the Detroit River and then kill them when they're done.

 

Didn't the president already save Detroit?

 

No, the Lions still exist.

 

Go vegan has to be my favorite.

 

The new city manager has not set a great example.
Media reported recently his home had liens placed on it in Baltimore for unpaid taxes.
He moves from one shithole city to another.
It's clear to me the only way to save Detroit is to shrink it.
It cannot even handle the barest necessities even at its diminished size.
Story the other day said 40% of all traffic lights in the city were not functioning.

 

I actually like No. 3. One of the (many) reasons the Rust Belt cities have struggled is because the cities haven't attracted a substantial immigrant population. (Immigrants are just like the rest of us. They gravitate to jobs and or, if business owners, places of wealth and employment).

Successful cities are replenished regularly with waves of immigrants.

The idea needs tweaking, of course, but I like the theory behind it.

 

Since you like to call people stupid, let's hear your plan first.

 

I don't take any great pleasure in it, I just call it as I see it. And, you consistently come out on top -- or bottom, as it were.

As for a plan for Detroit, I think something along the lines of the first plan would work best. People and businesses need an incentive to move to and/or live in Detroit.

But, I'd also offer incentives to graduates of top colleges -- especially those with computer/tech/programming skills.

 

The Detroit tax plan would work thusly -- every company would threaten to move there until its own municipality caved with a no-tax deal of its own. That's how it works in global business, thats how it works when states go head-to-head and that's how it would work here. It would make companies even richer and would not create jobs or have any other positive impact on Detroit.