Since no one goes to sporting events, what to do in Miami?

GF mentioned checking out the Everglades. Wasn't sure if it was worth it. Fan boats the best way to go?

 

Drive up to Hollywood and go to the dog track. Go around 11 a.m. when the real degenerates are there.

 

Been there, done that at 11 a.m. ... hey, wait a min- sonofa ...

 

Neither has anything to do with Miami, but if I were in Florida I'd want to:
1. Go to the Everglades. Fan boat would be great.
B. Check out Gibsonton.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibsonton,_Florida

When I was young, we went to some place in Tampa or just outside of Tampa where people were hand-rolling cigars. That was cool.

Also, when in Florida, it's traditional to spend at least 72 hours holed up in a trailer/cheap hotel room snorting, smoking and shooting crank.

 

just looked it up - cigar rolling in Ybor City.

 

Lunch:

http://www.versaillesrestaurant.com/

Dinner:

http://www.joesstonecrab.com/

 

Wet Willie's. Get a Call a Cab or three. Then, call a cab.

 

This. Intriguing wagering twists.

 

Loved the pups at Hollywood, Dania jai alai close enough for you to blow you bankroll too.

 

Just to clarify, aren't dog racing and jai alai two of the most crooked wagering events?

 

I know jai-alai's up there, Buck.

 

The old man used to go there when we'd be down there on vacation and come back muttering that every fucking game was fixed. I finally asked him why he kept going and he said - in his thick Glaswegian street brogue - "Who cares if it's fucking fixed, there has to be a fucking winner!"