Simmons first-ever read

Three rules for a good columnist:

1. Report and research (so you can make and support a cogent argument)

2. Have a fresh viewpoint

3. Provoke the reader

Not sure where this puts Simmons in the columnists' dugout.

 

Well, No. 2 flew out the window five years ago. And you can find enough factual errors in his columns to assume No. 1 isn't a big part of his repertoire, either.

 

You wanna write about the NBA from the perspective of a fan? Fine. You wanna do running diaries about your reaction to the NFL Draft? Ok. You wanna write pop culture-themed columns about all kinds of sports? Cool. But when you start engulfing every.single.column. with stories about your dad, your friends, your wife, your dad's friend's wife and 55 million other people that no one reading knows, thats when you begin to show a complete lack of understanding of the fact that aside from a sweet ESPN gig and a hefty salary, there is just nothing interesting or different about your life that makes it relevant and interesting to readers and their lives.

 

Judging by the reaction he gets around here when his name is mentioned, however, he nails No. 3.

 

Batman: Depends on your definition of provokes. There are things people write that make me say "What a freaking idiot." Did it provoke me? Sure. Is that what "Provoke the reader" should mean? Not even remotely. No columnist should set out to be a laughingstock.

 

Then how to explain that he's the most-read columnist on the site?

 

Simmons has gone stale. What made him edgy was him not being an insider. But, he spawned a million imitations and he has to get credit for that. Now, his style is just stale. He is writing the same stuff. But, we have read it all before.

Simmons has creativity and humor, he lacks versatility. I think versatility is key for a writer. He is a one trick pony, but a pretty good trick.

I think him going main stream to ESPN has killed him. They tried to feature him, but I think getting him to work consistently takes away from his ability.

My friends think he is great, I tell them he isn't a journalist and they can't see the difference.

That said, his take at the NBA All-Star game in Houston was hilarious. Also, the Ewing Theory column is legendary on the web.

But, Simmons isn't a journalist. He is a creative writer who has gone stale, Essentially, he is like the show "Who wants to be a millionaire." People watched it like a drug for several months and they responded by overexposing it to the public until people stopped watching.

Now it's on right before the Family Feud.

That's the way it goes with fads.