SI Swimsuit 2013: Welcome to TigerVols' Nightmare

What about Tyra Banks?

 

For those of you who do not think Kate Upton is sexy.

Think of her coming to your door with a 12-pack of beer in one hand, and a large pizza in the other, wearing a g-string and your favorite wife-beater tanktop.

 

I cannot fathom that there is someone out there even for a moment seriously arguing that Kate Upton is not attractive.

 

Wood!

 

Kate Upton is certainly attractive. But she's not my type at all.

 

Cool. When she calls, please give her my number.

Thanks in advance.

 

Too big.

 

I find it much more shallow when people can't accept that everyone has types than when people say Kate Upton isn't attractive. It doesn't matter how ugly I might be when I say Charlize Theron isn't my type. She's beautiful, and that doesn't need to be said. But she isn't what I look for in a woman.

I definitely can see why Kate Upton wouldn't be right for some guys, especially guys like 108-pound Dick Whitman and paleo-dieting TigerVols. They both can see why other men like Upton, even if TigerVols considers those reasons to be contributing to the ungluing of American society.

 

This is spot-on.

I'm 5-foot-9, a buck-fortysomething. I can see why a guy who is 6-plus, 200-plus would be interested in Kate Upton. But I'm completely incompatible with a 5-foot-11 woman with her curves. Completely. So much so that I can't even pretend about it. I like little cheerleader types. That Hannah Davis woman is much more fetching to me.

 

I'm shorter than you but damn, I'd be up for the climb.

 

Well, me, too. But there's an opportunity cost to just looking. Every second I'm looking at Kate Upton is a second not spent looking at, say, Ms. Davis. Or Mila Kunis. Or some other small wonder.