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Should marriage be monogamous?

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Dick Whitman, Jun 26, 2013.

  1. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    Couple of interesting pieces recently in Slate.

    One on a book about women's sexuality, and how women may not be as un-adventurous as we give them credit for:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/05/28/monogamous_sex_boring_for_women.html

    And also, as mentioned on the gay marriage thread, a piece about how gay couples are usually not monogamous:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/06/26/most_gay_couples_aren_t_monogamous_will_straight_couples_go_monogamish.html

    Anyway, I don't have a super-strong opinion one way or the other. Slate seems to push this button quite a bit, though.

    Is marriage, as we know it, sexually oppressive? Would you be up for mutual occassional hall passes? Or is Slate just trying to stir the pot, per usual?
     
  2. dreunc1542

    dreunc1542 Active Member

    A longer and more nuanced look at the topic appeared in the NYT a couple years ago: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/magazine/infidelity-will-keep-us-together.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.
     
  3. Is a monogamous marriage a relatively new idea, especially for the upper class?
     
  4. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    Yeah that's the one I mentioned on the other thread. It was Dan Savage explaining how straight couples would do better adopting the gay couples' practice of giving a night out every now and then. That did not seem like the most logical way to approach it, but maybe there's something to it.

    Anyway, it's a strange concept to me. But, you know, stuff works for people, I guess.
     
  5. dreunc1542

    dreunc1542 Active Member

    That's part of Savage's point, but a bit reductionist. What he drives at is that since people are different, it's up to the couple to decide if monogamy is right for them or not. If it is, then do that, and if it's not, then be comfortable allowing each other a night out every once in a while.

    He's really just calling for more communication, and a need for people to be honest about what they want from a relationship.
     
  6. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    I speak for everyone on the board when I say I want to meet you and your wife, dre! :)

    I have heard secondhand about this in our neighborhood. A friend told us she had overheard her friend talking about a party they had just had and all the fun that went on ... To be honest it almost sounded like the "friend of a friend" line was actually our friend scoping out potential interest. A bit of a weird night.
     
  7. dreunc1542

    dreunc1542 Active Member

    I know that I could only be in a monogamous relationship. I don't begrudge the people who don't think it's for them their fun, though.
     
  8. A key party would be fun, except for the woman stuck with the ugly guy (Me).
     
  9. Bodie_Broadus

    Bodie_Broadus Active Member

    Monogamy isn't natural.
     
  10. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    Speak for yourself. I've been told I'd be the first pick of our street draft. Of course, that was 20 pounds ago and before the 25-year-old ex-Marine moved in. And before the 24-year-old woman with the Double-Ds moved out.
     
  11. YankeeFan

    YankeeFan Well-Known Member

    A high school girlfriend of mine once said the idea of abstaining from premarital sex made as much sense to her as abstaining from premarital tennis.

    As a repressed Catholic, that was pretty enlightening to hear.

    Now, if you follow that logic, extra-marital sex would be equivalent to extra-marital tennis.

    Now, obviously there's an intimacy level reached in sexual relations that is not reached in a match of tennis. But, I don't judge. If it works for couples, more power to them.
     
  12. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    Can't believe Freqposter hasn't chimed in on this yet. The corn must me high this time of year.
     
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