Should Mark Prior just retire?

Do simulated starts count?

 

No. And neither do video games.

 

Well if those are the parameters, that's 77 cents I can safely invest.

 

I'll sell myself to science and make at least twice that. So there.

 

For some reason I picture you as the subject of a lesson by Vargas from Fast Times.

Student: "Who was this guy?"

Vargas: "He was a derelict, Randy. He sold the right for medical examination of his body for money. Something like one dollar and 54 cents, I believe. Isn't that right, Doctor Miller?"

Spicolli: "Bitchin!"

Then: "This incision allows us to pull aside the skin covering of the penis and really observe the organ as it exists in its natural, virginal state."

*Stacy Hamilton runs out and vomits*

 

This is the weirdest Mark Prior thread ever.

 

Kerry Wood made it back, so I wouldn't rule our Prior completely just yet.

In that same period I saw Prior pitch, I saw a UCLA team with Chase Utley, Eric Byrnes, Garrett Atkins and Eric Valent get their ass handed to them in a May weekend series by a team that had one or two players ever go higher than Class A. Nobody underachieves like UCLA baseball.

 

It's not like any of those players turned out to be anything, though.

 

That should happen about the same time Barry Zito wins his 17th game this year.

 

It'd happen if you all would just believe.

 

You know I've got a great piece of land for sale in central Florida. Just sayin'

 

Sad that Harang now has Dr. James Andrews on speed-dial.