Should I let my son quit football?

I think that's a great line. And true.

 

If you start something, you should finish it.

 

I wouldn' let him quit. I went through hell and back my senior year on varsity. The offensive coaches and the head degraded me constantly and finally I had to switch to defense.
It got so bad my parents had to get involved, hence the transition to defense. However, the lessons learned from that nightmare have benefited me ten-fold throughout my life. While these are two opposite circumstances, the end game is the same.
Your son will learn how to push back and fight through adversity. Life isn't easy or fair and this is a minor taste of that. Mentally it will prepare him for future classes and situations in high school, and beyond, and give him a perspective he otherwise wouldn't have.
As for his grades, semester grades are the ones calculated for a high school GPA, so he has plenty of time to get those back up to his standards if they slip. He can always go to his teachers after the season and ask what extra-credit work can be done.

 

Christ.

Again, it's freshman football. The kid determined he doesn't like football. The kid shouldn't be forced to TOUGH IT OUT!!! if he doesn't like it. It was his CHOICE to go out for the team. It should be his CHOICE to stay or quit.

Not everything falls under the WISE PARENTING LIFE LESSONS umbrella of "If you start something, you should finish it."

Let him make the call on this one.

 

He's on the football team and that being the case he shouldn't have to study for any of those unnecessary classes. [/Ohio State, North Carolina, etc.]

 

If he really wants to quit of course I'd let him. In my son's case, however, I felt that he really didn't want to quit, he just thought he did because he hadn't thought things through (which, in a stunning development, 15-year-old boys aren't so good at). So I tried to help him work through his thoughts. Perhaps what's being discussed here.

 

This. He chose to play. This is the result of that choice. If he learns how to quit now, he'll be quitting all his life when things don't go his way. So tell him, "Son, you wanted to play football. If you want to revisit that decision when the season is over, that's fine, but you need to finish what you started. And I would add that things that are worthwhile are seldom easy."

 

Sure. I can understand that. Of course. Talk to the kid. And go from there.

But I don't buy the notion that letting the kid quit the team will "teach him how to quit," which will, in turn, lead him to a life full of failures because of some quitter mentality that blossomed during freshman football.

Football's not for everyone. You don't know until you try. Some realize it before others. This kid, apparently, has realized it rather quickly. Nothing wrong with that.

 

I quit football during two-a-days my sophomore year. Couldn't stand my coach and I was undersized. Though I always had great technique, I was too small for the defensive line and not fast enough to play linebacker. I shot up six inches during a growth spurt a few months later and could have been a force on the defensive line and/or as a tight end, but I'd already quit.

It's the only thing I ever quit and I've regretted it ever since. Had I stuck that season out, I could have been a monster my junior and senior years. I don't think I ever would have played college ball, even if I'd stuck around, but I think I would have really enjoyed those last couple of years.

I think the lesson of living up to your commitments is more important than the one that there is an easier route if you don't have as much work to do.

 

Was too legit to quit.

 

I had a professor in grad school who had a similar mindset with regard to graduate coursework. If you took his course, or one of his courses, and decided it wasn't for you, he'd give you an incomplete (unless you'd taken the final exam). Given that incomplete, which as a matter of policy was supposed to be rectified within an academic year, he was more than willing to keep re-upping it so long as you never came back to take that course. His thought was that you want people trying out lots of things, and you won't get that as long as you impose penalties for trying but not completing (he was an economist). At most universities these days you can't do something like that.

 

MTM, because we haven't heard the final decision, I'll throw in some more advice.

First, the lesson of quitting. He's 15, not 6. I can understand with a young child the lesson of sticking it out, but by this age -- and your child seems bright -- a kid can read the writing on the wall. Yes, it's possible that if he sticks it out, someday he might make varsity or whatever. Anything can happen. But if he doesn't have an inherent love of the game, why bother? It's a huge time and physical commitment, and there are probably 1,000 other things he can try as a freshman that are more to his liking.

Second, whether he should stay because of what others think, or a commitment to the team. To a teenager, sending a message that you should do things because of what other people think is a toxic message. As far as the team, if your kid is barely seeing the field, I don't think the team is going to miss him much -- and I'm sure your son knows this. I presume he's also not socially active with other kids on the team, or else he might be more inclined to stay. Anyway, it sounds like if he left, it's no great shakes for anyone.

Third, and maybe you've had this conversation already, but you do need to pick at him some to find out why he wants to quit, just to make sure this isn't a temporary frustration. When a 6-year-old wants to quit, it's usually an impulsive request. With a 15-year-old, not so much. But it's possible that there is a part of him that wants to stick around. If you figure out that's true, then encourage him to stay, and address the positives. And it is true that you get kids who were comparatively nothing on freshman and JV who turn out to get a lot of time on the varsity. That's what I tell my 5-foot-10, 130-pound 15-year-old, who is playing sophomore ball for his first-ever organized football activity. Given that was most of his coaches' experience as players, he believes it.

In the end, I'm not sure it serves any purpose forcing your 15-year-old to do what he doesn't want to do, at least in terms of extracurricular activities. I would encourage him to stick it out, but be understanding about his decision. I guess you've found out by talking to him whether this is an impulsive decision, or whether he's thought long and hard about it.