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Should I let my son quit football?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by MTM, Aug 29, 2012.

  1. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    I definitely see the points of those who say don't quit, but his schedule concerns me. 6:45 to 5:30 for a 15 year old? What about homework? When does he get time to breathe? I see why he's stressed.

    He sounds like an excellent student who typically DOES see things through. I'm not sure forcing him to play football is a lesson this particular kid needs to learn. Other kids? Yes. And does your kid need to learn other lessons? I'm sure.

    Know your kid and trust him.
     
  2. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    I'll assume like lots of other kids, he could be capable of a schedule that includes football AND schoolwork if he wanted it bad enough.

    That said, sports are supposed to be fun. He shouldn't play if he doesn't want to. And no parent should force a kid to play a sport if they don't want to. I feel really strongly about that.

    That said again (did you expect anything else?), I am geezer age, but back in the middle ages, I went to a high school with the world's worst football team. I was a mediocre athlete. I didn't have the genetics to be anything special, but I always loved playing, was able to run faster than most kids, and I was a decent basketball player by playing a lot, for example. One year, the football coaches came and got me. It wasn't that I was really special. They needed warm bodies. They heard I could run. They tried to make me into a split end / corner. I was 5'10", maybe 150 pounds soaking wet and afraid as all hell of the contact. It was made worse by the fact that as little and sucky as I was, I was surrounded by a team that was inept beyond all hell.

    I really hated it at first. I hated the reverse play that they insisted on running, in which I took the end around and was supposed to have a wall of blockers -- except it never worked out that way, so instead, by the time I could even start to look up after taking the football, I knew I was a split second away from eating a face full of turf, or worse, being buried a few feet under the turf. As a receiver, any team worth their salt figured out quickly that all they had to do was jam me at the line of scrimmage and I was out of the play. Not that it mattered much. Even if they didn't, I could consistently get open, but I heard footsteps, so *if* (big if), my friend Dave, our QB, could actually get a throw off anywhere in my direction, it was a crap shoot whether I was going to hold onto the ball. I never quite got it internalized that I was getting hit whether I held onto the ball or not.

    My parents didn't force me to play. In fact, they never even showed up for a game (basketball, either, and I was actually decent at that sport). They never even wanted me playing, but never stood in my way.

    I never quit. To this day, I am not quite sure what kept me going out there. It's not like I really enjoyed getting the snot beat out of me for several months each year. I am *not* one of those guys who lives for the contact. I think, though, that I didn't want to quit anything. I felt like if I quit, it would have gotten the best of me. And I couldn't live with that. So I kept playing for a couple of years, even though I never really liked it. I am sure that will make no sense to some.

    The weird thing is, today, I *love* football and have an appreciation because of having played, and I actually know a lot about the game (and some of my work involves it -- teaching coaches, for example). A bunch of my best friends all played at a really high level. And I have talked to them about it, because I am fascinated by what separates them from someone like me (other than genetics). One friend played in the NFL for about a dozen years. He always knew he was just better than the other guys on the field. Even through college and even when he was still young and was playing pro. There was never any fear. He lived for the contact. It just came naturally for him from the day he stepped on a field.

    I didn't know it when I was in high school, but now I realize some guys are just cut out for football and some aren't. I wasn't. But for some reason that was probably more related to who I wanted to be, than who I was, I endured it. And oddly, in the overall, it turned out to be a good thing for me.
     
  3. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    I don't think I've quit a thing in my life, aside from romantic relationships. And those don't count. Never quit a job, never dropped a course, never left a club. For me, it was never so much, "Mama ain't raised no quitter," as the total unwillingness to let people down, petulant stubbornness and the paralyzing fear of failure. I've played my life safe, for the most part, and I don't take on nearly enough challenges. But I've never quit.

    I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe quitting adds character. Maybe quitting makes you appreciate what you keep.

    That said, I don't think 15-year-olds are great at making short-term decisions about their lives.
     
  4. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    I feel weird speaking up, in a way, because I'm a long way from having teen-agers. But I was one, once upon a time. And, once upon a time, I was one that played freshman football. And was bad at it.

    My two cents is that you have a heart-to-heart with him about sticking out this season and finishing what he started. I think that it can be a valuable life lesson. I feel like it was for me. I played garbage time that season, if that. My shoulder pads and helmet didn't fit correctly. I barely even got on the field at practice. But I stuck it through, because I guess I thought that's what you do.

    It is probably going to be a miserable two months for him. But it's two months, you know? The schedule sounds rough, but as we all know, you're going to have periods in your life, frequent periods, where you're overextended. Fifteen - and, again, I don't have teens yet, so take this for what it's worth - doesn't seem too early to get a taste of what that's like. Sit on him with the homework. Let him know that you're in this together. But I would work really, really hard if I were you to encourage him to tough out the season. I think that he'll be immensely proud to wake up after it's all over with a good report card and a season of football under his belt. Like I told someone once when I took a particularly hard class: I can endure anything for three months.

    And after that, he doesn't ever have to touch a pad again.
     
  5. Elliotte Friedman

    Elliotte Friedman Moderator Staff Member

    A lot of good arguments here for both sides.

    The only thing that would worry me as a parent: if he does get into a game and half-asses it, the more chance he gets hurt.
     
  6. Azrael

    Azrael Well-Known Member

    Why not let your son decide - then live with the consequences of his decision?

    Isn't that the toughest, most valuable lesson of them all?
     
  7. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Does he have any kicking ability? Maybe he can become a kicker and avoid the hitting.
     
  8. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    I kind of agree with this. There's a difference between forcing him to play and letting him quit. I wouldn't force my kid to play football, but I wouldn't let him quit either. I think you have to honor your commitments. We even did that with my 6-year-old who begged to play basketball and wanted to quit after two practices. We didn't let him and after a few weeks he decided he liked it. I would say, "Look, it's only a couple months, tough it out and if you never want to play again, I completely support you."
     
  9. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    People look at you differently after you quit something, especially a team sport like football. It's a lot different than just deciding not to play the following year.
     
  10. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    I agree. The parents job here is to make sure he's analyzing the situation correctly and is considering all pertinent information. For example, does he understand he has a better chance of getting laid if he's on the football team?
     
  11. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    It's hard to tell a teenager this. But you shouldn't do something because of how people will look at you. You should do it because it is what you feel is right.

    If the kid really doesn't want to play, he shouldn't.

    Versatile nailed it for me before. I think the reason I played, and didn't quit, was less because I was thinking, "I am not a quitter," than I was afraid of failure. That has always driven me. Other people may be different.
     
  12. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    You quit one thing, it becomes easier to quit the second thing...

    I don't know... How hard is it to tough out sitting on the bench for two months?
     
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