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Shirley to Haiti: 'Use a condom!'

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by ifilus, Jan 27, 2010.

  1. ifilus

    ifilus Active Member

    If You Rebuild It, They Will Come, by Paul Shirley
    Published: January 26, 2010

    'I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not.

    I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads “Need You’re Help” is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either...'

    Dear Haitians –

    First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

    As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

    The Rest of the World

  2. fishhack2009

    fishhack2009 Active Member

    What a long, rambling piece of shit.

    And we have the early favorite for "asshole of the year."
  3. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Given the tenet of the piece, shouldn't the headline read "If You Rebuild it, They Will Cum?"
  4. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Shirley, you can't be serious.

    (That works.)
  5. fishhack2009

    fishhack2009 Active Member

    Unfortunately, he is.
  6. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    And don't call him Shirley!
  7. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Well, I guess there's something to be said for taking a contrarian opinion.
    But what a piece of shit that guy is.
  8. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

  9. tapintoamerica

    tapintoamerica Well-Known Member

    Parallels between New Orleans and Haiti are absurd. Some residents of New Orleans could have gotten out before the storm. I do think it's rather silly to rebuild a city that exists below sea level and is a perpetual threat to be wiped out. But the people of Haiti aren't simply the impoverished victims of generational governmental evil; they're trapped on an island. How could they have gotten out even if they had wanted to? Amazing.
  10. fishhack2009

    fishhack2009 Active Member

    From his Wiki page:

    Paul Murphy Shirley (born December 23, 1977) is an American professional basketball player, most recently a member of Unicaja Málaga in the Spanish ACB. He is also a writer, with his primary focus on his basketball experiences.
    Shirley is noted for briefly maintaining an online journal while playing for the Phoenix Suns in 2004-05. His first journal dealt with a several-day-long road trip, while the second chronicled the Suns' NBA Playoffs run. After their playoff elimination, the Suns did not re-sign him, as he rarely played in his twelfth man position. He is the author of a blog for ESPN.com entitled "My So-Called Career". As of July 2008, it contained 56 column-length entries.[1]
    Shirley was signed to a non-guaranteed contract by the Minnesota Timberwolves in early October, but was cut in training camp before the start of the 2006-07 season. On an ESPN.com chat on October 23, Shirley referenced the $10 million, 5-year contract of Mark Madsen as the reason why he was released.[2]


    Sounds like pretty much a nobody.
  11. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    He also wrote a book a few years ago. At times it was entertaining, but it was a slog in some parts. Recurring theme: it was hell for him in the NBA, because he's so much smarter than everybody else involved in the league he could never carry on a conversation. Also, every single time he's been cut by a team -- which may be counted in the dozens at this point -- it's because the team had to keep a guy with a guaranteed contract, even though Shirley was clearly better in his two minutes of garbage time at the end of a blowout.

    I liked him in the beginning of the book. By the end I thought he was a Grade A asshole.
  12. Big Chee

    Big Chee Active Member

    Would he be ok if only 100,000 people died as a result of lower birth rates?

    Something tells me he wouldn't give a fukk anyway.

    I seriously want Shirley to impart his wisdom on Haitian history.
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