She's 95, dammit she's a terroristic threat

Watch your shit. The last time I had a one-way, I lost a camera.

 

I heard that if you're not under 6 or over 95 that they don't even frisk you.

 

Is that a euphemism? I won't ask where the camera went!

 

They definitely look closely at people with one-way tickets. I can attest based on my time flying out of Alaska on a one-way ticket. .... Buying on short notice also gets you closer looks, I believe.

 

Its very limited profiling based on one-way, cash for tix, last minute, etc. Basically if you hit certain metrics you become a selectee for extra screening - usually denoted by SSSS on your boarding pass.

 

Well, first, that's not profiling. And, second, we already do it.

You mean to tell me, in all your travels, meeting every sportswriter, editor, athlete and celebrity in the country, you have never been rebooked and gotten the dreaded SSSS ticket?

 

You are such a small, petty person.

Maybe one day you'll have some professional success and won't come across in every post as a bitter prick.

 

Does this mean I can't stay on your couch?

 

Think you could handle it?

I'm not sure you have the business acumen for something like this.

 

Yes, yes, but what about your diaper?

 

Christ, busting on Mizzou for name-dropping is the fucking fabric of this place.

It's like busting on BYH for being bad at fucking or oop for being bad at life.