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Sh*t my kid says

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by outofplace, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    My wife is always saying we should write down the funny stuff our kid comes up with, I figure many of the parents on here would have some fun stuff to contribute.

    At dinner tonight, my daughter explained to us why she thinks the idea of Santa Claus watching little kids all the time is creepy. She kinda has a point.
  2. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    "Hell yeah bitches. Nine in a row."

    That's what my probably-not-sober son said to me a bit ago, calling from the Virginia Tech-Virginia game.
  3. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    when he was 7, eldest heir shockey was in the house when his uncle and i began tossing around a miniature football in the back yard. of course the football ultimately ended up caught high up in a tree. so uncle and i figured we could just knock it free by throwing a softball at it.

    i take the first shot. looked easy enough. i took an exaggerated windup and let 'er go -- missed everything. didnt even scrape a leaf. and we hear a peepsqueak of a voice, with perfect sarcastic pitch, say, 'nice f--king throw....' and there was eldest heir, arms folded, watching it all from a tree. uncle and i broke up, then reprimanded him to satisfy the mrs. what we really wanted to do was fetch him a beer....
  4. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    Somehow, my potty mouth was kept away from my daughter while she was small and I recall her stubbing her toe once. Most certainly deserved a FUCK that hurt or at the least a SHIT. But no .... she says "Baby Buffalo!" I have no idea where she heard it, but in her mind, she uttered the fuck word for the first time. We all laughed so hard that she thought she was in trouble for saying a bad word.
  5. shockey

    shockey Active Member

  6. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    I laughed very hard at this. Thank you. :)
  7. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    Last weekend my wife took our seven year old son to Lakeshore Learning, which is essentially an educational toy/elementary school teacher supply store.

    They had a microphone with two buttons -- one for recorded laughter and one for recorded applause.

    He picks up the microphone, says "So what's the deal with airline food?" and then hits the laughter button.
  8. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    My Aunt Sandi shared this story about her son, Ryan, not too long ago:

    Several years ago she and her husband (Andy) were hosting a dinner party for a group of professors where my uncle taught college. My cousin was about seven or so at the time, and my aunt put him in the tub for a few minutes while she attempted to put some appetizers on the table. Ryan was known for taking very long baths, so she threw some of those bath crayons or markers or whatever they are in with him and told him to come get her when he was finished.

    A few minutes later, one of the wives of the professors approached my aunt in the kitchen and murmured something about perhaps needing to check on her son. Sandi walked into the dining room to find Ryan at the table, stark naked, with his freshly-painted genitals on display. He was in the middle of plopping his testicles on the lap of one of the seated professors while shrieking, "LOOK AT MY GIANT PURPLE BALLS! JUST LOOK AT THEM!"
  9. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    Geez, Care Bear, who can even try to post after that? Nice thread-killer.

    That's about the funniest thing I've ever heard about any kid.
  10. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    I had never heard that story until recently. I have no idea how that's possible. Ryan actually passed away from a brain tumor a few years ago, and I thought most of the funnier/crazier stories had already been shared. Obviously not. :)
  11. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    I have a similar, though not quite as good, story about AlleyAllen. But since was previously know around these parts, I will refrain from sharing.
  12. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Now you HAVE to share the story.
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