Sex with Sharapova: Shh!

Yeah, because the Bunny is so directly connected to Easter. In fact, when Jesus rose from the dead, he and his disciples feasted on rabbits. Little known fact.

 

The Easter Bunny is a clearly metaphor for rebirth and forgiveness in the eyes of God.

Christ-like mystery figure who comes from parts unknown brings eggs (new life) as a token of friendship (i.e., forgiveness if you accept Christ). In some cases, you must find the eggs, meaning you must seek his forgiveness and it will come.

It's brilliant really. We all know God can appear in many forms, but who would think he'd bust out a bunny suit with a basket full of Cadbury eggs symbolizing his forgiveness and love?

I should so be a Sunday school teacher.

 

Bubbler again with some great work.

And RedSmith, as usual, representing.

 

Ribbit.

 

If Sharapova had stayed with the motherland and went out with the Berserker from Clerks, the gold standard of Russian metal ...



Or even any member of Gorky Park ...



(BANG! Say da da da da!)

... we wouldn't be having this thread, because she'd know coital bliss like no other.

 

That's why the priest says, "This is the bunny of Christ" when distributing Communion.

See all of you in hell!

 

GORKY PARK!!!!!! It's not just a book!

Bless you bubs.

I hear those guys single-handedly brokered peace between the two superpowers.

 

And the hidden, painted eggs represent fertility/new life ...

 

You might be right. I hear the Berlin Wall was torn down so the Eastern bloc would have the freedom to hear songs with lyrics like this ...

Bang! Say da da da da
Tell me yes and let's feed the fire
Bang bang, say da da da
Nothin' less, I wanna hear a yes
Bang! Say da da da da
Tell me yes and let's feed the fire
Bang bang! Say da da da
Tell me yes

The word is out, got good news
We're gonna go for a midnight cruise
Steady weather, it's always cool
The street teaches what you learn at school
Look out, the gang's all here
Gettin' tough in tender years
Come for a ride,
Straight up to heaven
Your rocket is ready
And it started counting down

CHORUS

Give it in or give it out
We can blow it up
Or we can blow it all out
Get a little or get a lot
It doesn't matter we'll never stop
So wild, young and free
Red hot and sugar sweet
Come for a ride straight up to heaven
Your rocket is ready
And it started counting down

Wow. These guys make Dirk Diggler and Chest Rockwell look like Lennon/McCartney in comparison.

 

Fuck, that wasn't even the best hair metal song with the word "Bang" released in 1989.

That honor went to Danger Danger's "Bang Bang." Sing it with me, SJ!!!

It was a warm night on the south side of town
They said they’d seen ya
You were sneakin’ around with a stranger,
Girl these rumors are drivin’ me mad

All my good friends turn their face to the wall
When they see me, what the hell’s goin’ on am I so blind
That I can’t see when I’m being had

I know it’s silly but girl I really thought we had a chance
I must’ve been crazy!

Chorus:
Bang Bang, what’s that sound
I gave you my love and you shot me down
Bang Bang, you’re so cool
Playin’ a game, someday you’re gonna lose
Bang! Bang!

Girl you told me you were not like the rest
Then you showed me now you’re failing the test
It was easy just an urge in the heat of the nite

I believed you, now that’s all in the past
Cause I made some mistakes but I’m learnin’ fast
Never put your heart on the line!
Never put your heart on the line!

I know it’s silly but girl I really thought we had a chance
I must’ve been crazy!

(Chorus)

Man. they don't write them like that any more. thank God.

 

Well, I was mainly talking about the Easter Bunny, as modern commercial culture has come to know it: ubiquitous, chocolate, and in the front of stores starting in early March. Which is the absurd character many people I know, including Jewish folks, celebrate with a basket. And that's kind of holiday infringement of the highest order.
It might be a stretch to think Adam Levine knows the origins of the Easter bunny (small b), but he sure as hell knows the Easter Bunny.

 

Danger Danger. Good God they sucked balls.

That must've come out in late '89, by which time I was shotgunning enough Grape Flavored Everclear to supply every inhabitant of Botswana until the year 4000, so I didn't notice that God awful tune.