Sex with cars

Worst. Haiku. Ever.

 

This gives a whole new meaning crankshaft

 

He digs 'em with junk in the trunk.

 

Does he use the oil fill cap at all?

 

So if he "does" it while wearing a seatbelt restraint is that considered kinky or safe sex?

 

His partner had a great set of airbags.

 

Who knew auto-asphyxiation could have a double meaning.

 

Both.

 

Does he strip the gears as part of the foreplay?

 

This song is surely one of the guy's faves:

See the breaking glass
In the underpass
See the breaking glass
In the underpass

Warm leatherette

Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Melts on your burning flesh
You can see your reflection
In the luminescent dash

Warm leatherette

A tear of petrol
Is in your eye
The hand brake
Penetrates your thigh
Quick -- Let's make love
Before you die

On warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Join the car crash set

 

Or Little Red Corvette.

By the way, from the Curiosity Killed the Cat Department (I couldn't help but wonder if it simply meant "sex in the car": Here's a FAQ sheet about sex with cars I pulled during a google search ... from a company that manufactures "equipment" to do the deed. Good advice for anyone considering such a practice - "Wait till the tailpipe cools off." Here's a quote:

"The tailpipe will cool off faster than the engine, so you don't have long to wait. I call
screwing the car while the tailpipe is hot, "fucking the car hot". Never fuck a car hot. I did, once. Once"

It might be considered mildly nsfw since it's somewhat disturbing but there are no pictures, thank god.

http://blackroses.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq

 

How did we all miss this line from the story?

I wonder how his girlfriend would feel about a b-g-c menage-a-tois?