Settle an argument...

It makes them fluffier. Seriously, just try it once. Or use water, if you're lactose intolerant or whatever. You'll notice a difference.

 

I open two eggs, I whisk them with a fork for about 6-8 seconds, pour it in a pan, and stir until cooked.

WTF is wrong with you people?

 

I don't whisk at all. Eggs in the pan, milk in the pan, break up the yolks and stir it all up with the spatula or utensil of choice. Then add all the spices and later add some cheese. And maybe some deli turkey or black beans or chopped onion or spinach. And hot sauce (not tabasco sauce, hot sauce) after it's all done.

 

Yeah, they used real eggs for McMuffins, etc.

The yellow biscuit egg was another thing entirely.

 

Now people who put ketchup on their eggs, they're fucking nutjobs.

 

Perfect Scrambled Eggs has your answer, IJAG:

http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=17

Basically, to help blend the egg and yolk, which allows you to whisk air into the mixture, which results in fluffier, tastier eggs.

(He calls for 1 teaspoon milk per egg, BTW)

 

Put butter in the eggs while cooking, not milk. And Doc, it depends what's in the eggs. If it's eggs alone, ketchup is unnecessary. If there's some kind of meat, maybe. Now Tabasco sauce on eggs ...

 

I guess that's my argument. My eggs don't weigh like 18 pounds. They're just ... eggs. I don't want to eat milky eggs or eggs that taste like air. I like eggs that taste like eggs.

Zeke's talking to me about omelettes and crepes and shit, but that's different. There you want fluffy. I'm talking about little bunches of eggs...scrambled eggs!

 

I thought you didn't cook at all???

My image of you is totally shattered.

 

You're good as long as you add ketchup before eating.

 

Butter in the pan to melt while I lightly whisk the eggs and milk in a bowl, add cracked pepper and salt, then into the pan on high heat. Do not walk away. Stir, fluff, serve, add Tabasco, enjoy.

 

And here I thought we were friends.