Selig might reinstate Aaron as HR king.

"I'm thinking about knocking Sarsgaard on the melon and meeting Maggie in Biarritz."

Don't make it so.

 

Allow me to introduce you to three letters:
C. B. A.

 

That whole Wild Card thing is stupid.

 

Huh?

 

You DON'T fucking paraphrase the money quote.

Period.

 

Bud saying he's "thinking about" replacing Bonds with Aaron has as much to do with reality as my thinking about that hot tub in Biarritz.

 

He's saying that just because someone says he or she is "thinking" about doing something doesn't necessarily mean there's a snowball's chance in hell of it actually happening.

 

Actually, it would be the worst thing he's done since becoming commissioner.

How many of Bonds' home runs were hit off pitchers who were on the juice? Doesn't that equal even playing field? How many of Bonds' HRs would have been HRs even if he weren't on roids?
If you can give me an exact answer to those questions, then you can start determining how many of Bonds' home runs should count.

 

With Saarsgard?

 

Right. But if I'm thinking about going to the store, is it not fair to say I might go to the store?

You report that he said he might do it, you point out that it won't happen, and that's the story. But Simon's point was that because it wasn't put in quote marks it wasn't really said is asinine.

And Simon, sorry, but that's not a money quote. So any time someone's arrested, we should quote the chief saying "We've arrested Joe Blow on this charge" instead of making that the lede? Stupid.

 

Will Steve Carlton be reinstated as the third-leading strikeout artist of all-time?

 

You can't be helped.