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Second child coming - what am I in for?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rhody31, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    In about 13 hours - provided everything stays on schedule - I'll be meeting L'il Rhody 2.
    I'm nervous, but nothing like the first. We're having another girl so I know how to do everything - I think - but I just feel differently. I can't quite put my finger on it.
    For those who have gone through a second child, what's it going to be like tomorrow?
    I ask because with my first, the best thing I heard was something that stuck with me and was so true. A coach simply told me "I can't explain the feeling you're going to have when you see her the first time, but you'll know it when you see her."
    Am I in for the same thing tomorrow?
  2. Two girls?
    Congrats! ... On the first 10 years.

    You have my condolences from the 10 after that.

    Two kids ... Better than one. They can play with each other. Like most things, it's easier the second time around.

    "Asking me to pick my favorite course is like asking to pick a favorite child," Pete Dye .. with regard to kids, he's right.
  3. H.L. Mencken

    H.L. Mencken Member

    Easier: You know what you're doing with most things. You're not terrified you'll break her. You'll have pretty much all the stuff you need already.

    Harder: There is no catch-up time, no recovery. With one, if the kid screams all night, in theory you and your spouse can go in shifts. With two, there is no such luxury. You and your spouse will be more irritable, more angry. Me time will very limited for the next few years.

    Harder and a little unsettling: Sometimes it's harder to feel as connected right away to No. 2 as it was No. 1, especially for dad. Some people may think it's bullshit, or judge me for saying this, but I didn't feel the same amazing euphoric love for No. 2 right away that I did for No.1. It made me feel horrible and my wife angry with me. Pediatrician said, though, that it was perfectly normal for a lot of dads. Now I would jump in front of a bus for No. 2. I adore her. But it took a little time for her personality (so different from No. 1) to make me feel so connected to her.

    Better: Eventually they will become friends. They will love one another. Watching this happen is the best thing you could ever imagine.
  4. albert77

    albert77 Well-Known Member

    The only thing I would add to what Mencken wrote is don't go into it expecting everything to be the same as it was for the first child.

    My wife and I have always said that if we'd had our second child first, he'd have been an only child.

    The first child was no trouble whatsoever. Quiet, slept all night from about four months, ate anything you gave him. The second boy finally started sleeping through the night when he was about 18 months old, he was cranky, whiny and wasn't having any part of jar baby food. He wanted people food, he wanted it now and he wanted a lot of it.

    The interesting thing is, that's pretty much been their personalities right into adulthood. Oldest one is still pretty laid-back, although he's developed a backbone as an adult. The younger one is still pretty bull-headed, but he's mellowed some over the years.
  5. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    You'll be spending twice as much time calling sports editors and complaining that they're costing scholarships.

    In seriousness, Congrats and good luck.
  6. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    I'll write some more later, but Mencken hit a lot of it on the head. Incredibly hard, and, for your own good, you should be ready for that. Also, really take care of your wife. Especially if she is breast feeding, she is going to be completely drained all the time.
  7. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    Just took my wife in. We're doing a c-section. Ready to get show on the road.
  8. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    You can expect the oldest one to tell the newbie not to print what she's already tweeted.
  9. On top of the birth, My wife had a spinal headaches after our No. 2 was born. She was bed-ridden for days.
  10. DeskMonkey1

    DeskMonkey1 Active Member

    I didn't bond as quickly with my middle child but once we diagnosed his food allergy, he was much happier. Those first three months were hell, to the point I had to go on antidepressants.

    The hardest part is when they don't nap/sleep at the same time.
  11. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    Everything is all good.
    L'il Rhody 2 came in at a stout 10 pounds, 10 oz. My wife's a Type 1 diabetic, so we knew she was going to be big; L'il Rhody 1 was 9 13.
    Bad part was she swallowed some merconium on her way out and it affected her breathing just enough that she needed to do a stint in the NICU. Then her sugars were a little low - common b/c of her size, diabetic mom, being two weeks early - and after a day, she was out.
    And I think I may have figured out the attachment thing. I'm not at the hospital right now. When the first was born, I was there all day, all night. Now I'm bring the first home to eat and sleep, so that's a lot less time bonding with my new baby.
    We should be home Tuesday, but so far, so good.
  12. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Congrats again.
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