Scott Rolen: Hall of Famer?

Reggie Jackson turns into Jules from Pulp Fiction. So his wallet might say Bad Muthafucka on it, but he's not getting into the Hall without buying a ticket.

 

The law of large numbers would disagree with your "mental masturbation" characterization

 

Mike Schmidt goes into porn instead of baseball, so he's out. Frank Robinson stole the Lindbergh baby, so he's out.

 

Rollie Fingers quit in the minors and had a long, lucrative career giving mustache rides to Traci Lords and Hyapatia Lee.

 

After exhastive research, we have discovered that Lou Gehrig actually played sixth base. Not only is that not a real position, but he played it poorly, and his splits were horrendous. He's out.

 

Ernie Banks always wanted to play two, so I'm cutting his numbers in half. And, frankly, now he sucks.

 

Derek Jeter's future chances were jeopardized when it was discovered he played much better in Smarch than November.

 

Lousy Smarch weather. Might have been what gave Harmon Killebrew gout.

 

Mauer hitting one home run a season at home is not getting you into the HOF.

Thanks for the research, OOP. I thought Mauer's power shortage was more well known.

 

We can reasonably presume he hit the 49 home runs in the following places: in the laundry room at the St. Mary's Industrial School for Boys; on the trolly on the way to the park; in the waiting room of the doctor's office while he was being treated for syphilis; in a whorehouse in Baltimore where he contracted syphilis; in a rental on the a lake while having sex with Lou Gehrig's wife; while playing the piano on a frozen lake.

These, however, cannot be documented and are considered potentially to be fraud.

Therefor, he's out.