Scenes from the dentist's office

I've been to the dentist probably half-a-dozen times in the last month or so (it was a really long time between visits), and there were more than a couple of times it felt like we were doing a Marathon Man reenactment.

 

I'm completely with ya on this one. F them and their damn metal instruments. Let me scratch at their gums with those hooks and see if their gums bleed. See who brushes well, then.

 

My wife is a dental assistant. She has been bitten by Lucille Ball (the bitch). She confirms that Cher wasn't acting in "Mask." She has had her fingers in the mouths of several Lakers.
The funniest thing was when her co-worker was dealing with Bruce Springsteen, whom she adored, and during the patient history, she had to ask him if he had ever had VD.

 

What was his answer?

 

Sorry, privacy. You know?

 

Those are a thing of the past. Most dentists can do the X-Rays digitally now so you don't have that huge metal frame in your mouth while biting down on film. But for some reason you still need the two-ton smock covering your neck, chest, and however far down it goes.

 

Try having them poke around extensively with that metal thing in your mouth taking measurements of the gum pockets around the teeth (it's like 3-4 measurements per tooth, front and back). That is annoying, but I found out some of my pockets are deeper than they should be, which could require periodontal work.

 

That almost sounds like grounds for divorce. ;D

I go Friday to have four wisdom teeth and a dead baby tooth pulled. Should be loads of fun.
I get the feeling, every time I go to the dentist and they look at my snaggle-toothed self, that they envision my head as an ATM. Kind of like those old cartoons where two guys are in a lifeboat and one starts hallucinating that the other is a steak dinner.

 

Just got back from the dentist with the kid.

He did great.

How the dentist pulls teeth.....HOLY SHIT.

One little shot to deaden the nerves...takes out some tools that look like pliers...two little twists...a very slight pull...PLOP....out comes this tooth that looks like it came out of a fucking hippo, not my 7-year old boy.

The pulpotonomy (basically a root canal for kids) was a breeze for him. He's also doped up on Nitrous, numb from head to chin.

Doc looks at him and says, "Man, I know 15-year olds that don't do this well."

I look at him and say, "Man, I know a 33-year old that wouldn't do this well." (me)

Kid is mad because he has to have gauze in his mouth for an hour or so, but other than that, he is fine.

 

It was just before I met her. She loved James Worthy, fortunately he was still married then.

 

Yeah, that usually stops all married men in the NBA.