Say Hello to Suri Cruise! (courtesy of Katie Couric)

I don't know, guys. Photo No. 3 looks just like Vincent Lauria from The Color of Money.

 

That baby is wearing a wig.

 

Number one, the kid was supposedly born in April, nearly five months ago. As someone whose friend just gave birth less than two weeks ago to a child who popped out ready for 6-9 month clothes (11 pounds, 9 ounces, 23 inches), this kid is not out of the range of size.

Plus, and I know this may be a shock to any of you, since you don't look at her eyes, but those are Katie's eyes. Up and down. The turndown in the outer corners? Katie's sad, puppy-dog eyes. The fact they're smaller on the outside than the inside? Tom's.



The kid is gorgeous, and looks to me like it's theirs. I mean, at first the jokes were that it was a test-tube baby. Now there's no way it's even his genes? Pick a story, guys.

 

www.whogivesafuck.com

 

I was just standing here, Tom Cruise locked himself in the closet.
Oh, please someone just tell me why Tom Cruise locked himself in the closet.
Now I'm getting angry.
SO I PULL OUT MY GUN!!!!

Reporter: AHHHHHHH1

 

The baby looks exactly like Holmes...

I believe a lot of the conspiracy theories about Cruise. But I think this is definitely "their" kid. Do I think it's possible that the baby is a product of in-vitro fertilization and the whole setup is being done to cover up that Cruise is gay? Perhaps, but the kid looks like what you would expect their kid to look like...

 

The headline on that magazine is the worst I have ever seen ...

And a little piece of my heart breaks every time I see Katie Holmes being led around by the Scientologists ...

 

Thanks for the assist, Deeper_B.

 

Folks, if you're going to go and take this shit seriously, it ruins all the fun.

But the kid does have a pompadour.

On the snap, Vincent!

 

Huh, I thought the kid would look more like a turkey baster.

 

Agreed. Maybe in the end he's just a dude who happens to follow an incredibly insane religion that is based on science-fiction novels.

It always reminds me of the legend that after Star Wars came out, Coppola told George Mucas to start a religion around this whole force thing. Mucas, of course, laughed it off.

Mr. L. Ron Psychlo did not. And people like Cruise buy it hook, line and sinker.

None of which means that he's dumb enough to refuse to nail Ms. Holmes, given the opportunity.