Sandra Bullock and Jesse James

Again, we this keeps coming up every time an attractive woman gets cheated on.

Why do we almost always assume affairs are ever about boning someone hotter?

What if your spouse is hot, but horrible in bed? What if they want to have sex about once a year? What if they're mean and petty?

Or, more likely, what if you're just totally insecure?

 

I guess this gives new meaning to The Blind Side.

Who introduced these two clowns?

Hey, Sandy, you should meet this guy. His name is Jesse James. And when HASN'T there been a great guy named Jesse James? He's covered in tattoos. He runs a motorcycle shop. He was married to a porn star. He has three kids by two different women he's no longer with. He's fighting his ex-wife for custody. You'd be perfect for each other!

 

I think part of is that the woman he cheated with HAS TATTOOS ON HER FACE and has been photographed in Nazi garb. If he was just cheating with a normal skank, I don't think the story would have the same kind of legs.

 

Wait...

Tats a skanky? Have we hashed this out yet on SJ?

 

When they're on your face, then yes, I think they're skanky. YMMV.

 

Let's do this.

Tattoos are ugly. They've never made any woman more attractive, and they frequently take away.

 

This reminds me of a Bill Maher line I just read last night in his New Rules book.

"There's no explaining love. If Charles and Camilla prove one thing, it's that she must be the greatest lay in history. She must do things to him that make Carmen Elektra look like your hand. Love is inexplicable, so let's not put any laws about marriage in our Constitution."

 

Dear god, please no. Not again. I'm begging you. If you really weren't around for the first 15 takes on this, please search for "tattoo" and read. It ends about as well as the politics threads did.

Here, this will get you started: http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/55326/

 

I blame that dirty tattooed tower that boffed Mr. Howard and laid poor Jesse's marriage in the grave.

 

Agreed.

 

I would rather have bad sex with a moody Sandra Bullock than good sex with a happy skank with tattoos on her face.

 

That's because Angelina brilliantly spun the Pitt-Aniston breakup as "Aniston didn't want kids."

I don't know if it was true or not, but it sure did work, especially as Aniston acted like a total bitch for three or four years afterwards. I'm not saying it wasn't justified, but in the years after Pitt dumped her, Aniston seemed as unlikable as you can get. If you want to be America's sweetheart, you can't do that.