S--t, shower and shave survey -- same routine for all guys?

Usually shit, shave, then shower.

 

I will vouch for the bold. During high school cross-country, I had to go to the bathroom pretty bad following school, but we had a race shortly after. So I had to act like a bad baker and pinched the loaf before it was fully cooked. The race started and I felt pretty good and I was in the lead through the first two miles. Once I crossed the two-mile mark, it felt like someone dropped a concrete slab in my stomach. Around the 2.5-mile mark, I could hardly keep running. My lead evaporated and I faded back to sixth. As soon as I crossed the finish line, I raced to the bathroom and unloaded a Satanic deuce.

 

Thanks Rump.

That's exactly the mental image I was looking for.

 

I shave in the shower, so shower and shave are happening at the same time.

I know it wastes water, but I never have red marks on my face.

 

It hasn't for me.

 

What about launching the S.S. Browntrout?

 

One of the resons why I get up a lot longer than I need to is so I can drink a full cup of coffee and then take a constitutional.

I hate leaving the house in the morning without knowing I won't have to hit the head for a deuce later in the day.

 

Planting spikes, pinching loafs and dropping a deuce are also acceptable, IMHO.

 

I always preferred "releasing the hounds."

I once worked with a guy who, when he got ready to walk out of the room to take a dump, would say, folded newspaper under arm, "If anybody calls, I'll be in the Christian Science Reading Room." Always thought that was funny ...

 

That's what I say -- starting now; well, the next time I go.

 

A friend of mine dropped that on me once, I about pissed myself laughing.

 

"Insert a knife into the center and twist. Then, to make it bloom, soak it in water for thirty to forty minutes."