Runnin' on Empty

Well I pulled the ultimate moron move yesterday by running out of gas in the left turn lane of an intersection on a major road. Sat there for a good hour with people honking at me before AAA came to fill up the tank. Not my finest moment, especially since the wife had told me multiple times to stop but I insisted on pushing it. I'm sure I'm not the only knucklehead out there, what's your story?

 

"Oh honey.....when that little light is on, that means you have 50 more miles."

fail.

 

I had that little light come on when I started the car the other day then turn OFF after it had been going for a little while.

I put in enough gas to not worry for one day, then when I got paid the next day, I filled up.

 

In high school, I finally got my own car in twelfth grade. Working at a drug store, I could barely afford the thing, much less gas.

So I'm driving to school one day, and run out of gas on the main highway leading to town (I grew up in the county).

Who goes by but my younger sister, who also had her own car (a Chevette that she could afford). She stopped and picked me up, mocking me all the way to the gas station and back.

 

I've run out of gas on I-83 and I-95 -- in the last two years. I am the king of stupid when it comes to cars. It's a miracle I know how to fill the tank ... when I actually do.

I'm usually guilty of just waiting too long, not for time or convenience, but for a cheaper price. I figure the further south I go, the cheaper the gas will be, or, as was the case during the two or three times it happened to me in high school, I wanted to push the Blazer to more than 400 miles from the tank; 397 simply wasn't good enough, and the reserve tank liked to bite me.

The last couple times weren't because of that, however: I ran out of gas while driving a moving truck and couldn't find a gas station off the highway; and the other time I got to a gas station at 4 a.m., way after it closed, then got back on the highway in search of another one that I knew was open, but ran out of gas a mile before I got there. That's a lonely walk at 4:15 a.m.

So don't feel bad, Hack. For I am Mike, the lord of the idiots.

 

RICK: (Trying to look at the gas gauge) Where is it now?

KRAMER: There’s still some overlap between the needle and the slash below the "E".

RICK: How long are you gonna go?

KRAMER: Oh, I’ve been in the slash many times. This is nothing. You’ll get used to it. Just, (Makes a popping sound) get it out of your mind.

RICK: Have you ever been completely below the slash?

KRAMER: Well, I almost did once, and I blacked out. When I came to, the car was in a ditch, and the tank was full. I don’t know who did it, and I never got to thank them..

RICK: (As the car slowly drifts off the road) Mr. Kramer, the road!

 

How I long to be "That other guy."

 

I ran out of gas in the parking lot of my apartments. The gas light had been on the entire day before and I was to tired to fill up, went out the following afternoon, started the car and it died after idling for about a minute.

 

In high school, I ran out while going to the gas station. About a half a block from it, the car shut down. I told my 15-year-old -- I think she was 15 ... maybe 16 -- girlfriend to hop in the front seat and steer while I pushed. That was a fun date.

 

And it was all downhill from there, in more ways than one.

 

Luckily, it was downhill ... to the gas station. She, uh, she is she.

 

The first part of dealing with a problem is admitting you have one. Check.