Rob Neyer's different views

Rob Neyer on Barry Bonds

It's true that Bonds has never been convicted, or even suspended. But in America, we often convict criminals with circumstantial evidence, and when it comes to Bonds, we have plenty of that. Without even getting into the morality of performance-enhancing drugs, I hope we can agree that Bonds has finagled his way into the record books.



Rob Neyer on Rick Ankiel

Hmm, let's see here ... he stopped receiving the banned substance before it was banned? And if true, "obviously it would be very tragic"? Gosh, I don't know. Unfortunate, sure. Inconvenient, absolutely. But it's very tragic when a professional athlete gains the same edge that so many of his colleagues have gained? No. Today the Rick Ankiel Story isn't nearly as spiffy as it was just yesterday. But I have to tell you, I've got a really hard time getting worked up over this news.

 

If he received the banned substance before it was banned, then he did not receive a banned substance at all.
QED.

 

The proper SJ style is NEYER and he should be recognized as the divine figure he clearly is.

Scholars have poured over this for centuries. In monotheistic religions, NEYER is clearly the creator/puppet/judge and jury figure, whatever name the individual religion uses.

In polytheistic faiths, it's a tougher call.

For example, Hindu scholars speculate that NEYER trumps the Hindu deities Vishnu, Brahma, Shiva and Shakti.

In secret Sanskrit texts there is a NEYER who, "courts Vishnu with his inescapable grasp of OPS and VORP. Who conquers seamhead Brahma with great oceans full of runs created and park-adjusted ERA. Who enlightens Shiva with arguments like, 'What if there was a lineup full of Scott Hatteberg's?' And who mates with Shakti after he lured her into ecstasy by extolling Ted Simmons' Hall Of Fame case.

"NEYER is the true Brahman. He is shangri-la, he is nirvana. NEYER ... is."

NEYER can also represent the horror elements of Hindu. Like Kali, he will rip your beating heart out of you if you claim Bert Blyleven doesn't belong in the HoF.

 

Is it time to throw out the race card?

 

I am now officially in awe.