Rip Rain Man.

Hey they survived the immortal Root Boy Slim's "Christmas at K-Mart" back in the '70s, they can handle that nonsense, too.

Ho, ho, ho
Hey, Santa, I hear you just got in from San Jose
Got in a little trouble out that way
But I’ve got a song that’ll pick up your spirits the most
Goes kinda like this—

Christmas at K-Mart, all over the store
People are buying just a little bit more
So if you’re still shopping with money to spend
How ’bout this album by Root Boy Slim?

Christmas at K-Mart, Christmas at K-Mart

The mood ring counter is all aglow
When Root Boy starts his Christmas show
Winos sleep on the hot-air grill
Hippies take their Christmas pill

Cough syrup, sold out tonight
Those Locker Room users in their usual fright
That lingerie counter was grab and go
Shoplifters' bags on overflow

Santa got a dose in San Jose
Come to the K-Mart, wants love to stay
I must have died and gone to Heaven
’Cause Hell is Christmas at the 7-11

 

He had a bad haircut and couldn't dress himself.
Oh...it's R.I.P. Rain Main, not rip rain man.
Oops.

 

Like others, I was misled by the thread title.
I thought Shawn Kemp had left 458 kids orphaned.