RIP Grumpy Cat

Love cats. Love dogs. Come at me.

 

Right now, my cat is curled up on my chest and purring, and my dog is loudly licking his crotch. Both are keeping me awake at 4 a.m., but I’m firmly on Team Cat at the moment.

 

It is very improper to fuck cats.

Reminds me of a joke though: (from Reddit)

So a guy walks into a whorehouse and he tells the Madam that he'd like to get laid.

"How much money you fixn' to spend?" asks the Madam.

"I got five bucks," says the rube.

The Madam snorts and says "Well, five bucks'll only get you old Bertha. She's 62, fat and ain't got no teeth, but she'll fuck ya. Go up to room 305."

So the guy lays down his money and goes upstairs to find his toothless date. A while later he comes down smiling, and gives the Madam a wink and a thumbs-up.

A week later the guy comes back to the whorehouse and tells the Madam he wants to get laid again, and the Madam again asks him how much he's going to spend.

"I only got a buck," he says.

"Well, for a buck you can go up to 208. There's a chicken in there, and if you can catch it you can fuck it."

So the guy lays down his money and goes upstairs to 208. A while later he comes down smiling and again winks at the Madam and gives her a big thumbs-up, even though he's sweating, gasping for air, and covered in chicken feathers.

So a week later the rube comes back again, but this time he's only got 50 cents. The Madam shakes her head and says "Fine, go up to 210 and wait there."

The rube goes upstairs and enters 210 only to find a room full of guys and a few empty chairs, all facing curtains at one end of the room and a sign that says "Sex Show." He sits down and waits for the curtains to open.

After a few minutes he leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "So, what's the show about?"

"I don't know," replies the other guy,"but last week it was some guy fucking a chicken."

 

World rejoices as Grumpy Cat and her shitty attitude dead forever.

 

I used to be baffled by cats. Then my mom became a foster for the local humane society. Three of the cats became foster fails by default because they weren't able to find permanent home for them within a year. Two more they found in the Home Depot lot as kittens. My nephew adopted one but went off to college. Another woman passed away and they adopted her cat.

As of today, my parents have nine cats and four dogs in their house. And those cats led me to adopt my own cat. I'm not as obsessive, though. One's enough (and my two dogs).

Every time I try to name all nine cats, I always miss one (Reggie, Mama [who's never had kittens], Baby [who's now 13], Patty, Ino [pronounced ee-no], Shadow, Thumper [a gray cat with huge white feet], Grim, and .... the ninth one).

 

You need to have an intervention. I bet that house smells ... lovely.

 

Not really. Huge back yard for the dogs and my parents built a "catio," an screened enclosure just off the back porch the cats can access through a doggie door in the kitchen. They can go outside all they want without the worry of them escaping the yard. The sandboxes are in there.

 

Where I live there are no more outdoor cats because of coyotes. A few years ago you would see missing cat flyers every few weeks. People wised up.

 

Well yeah. The coyotes started reading all the damn signs.

 

The ninth one is Hobo, who was one of the Home Depot kittens.