RIP Ford Taurus

Early Editude days, living in a town with one dealer (Ford), I got an Escort because I couldn't afford a Taurus. Now we're scrambling today to find Taurus owners to lament the loss of their model.

 

Damn you Editude! I wanted to be the first one to mention the Escort!

This is all you need to know why Ford sucks: My parents bought an Escort--a box-like, stick-shift, boring-as-hell car that was painted an appropriate shade of beige--in 1984. It was basically Mom's car and it generally came thru for her, until a pretty fierce snowstorm in '89, when she picked me up from school after a track meet and unleashed a torrent of profanity I've never heard from her before or since when the car got stuck on a hilly street outside the school.

As soon as that car hit 100K it crapped out. Honest to God, it's like it turned over to 100,000 and died.

To replace it, she bought a Nissan in 1990. She still drives it to work today, 150,000-odd miles on the same engine later.

Fords suck.

 

Bought a car in 1996: Ford Taurus vs. Honda Accord. I'm glad I choose the latter.

 

I had a beautiful, pale blue (like the Geni in Aladdin) Escort station wagon. The transmission crapped out on me at around 100,000 miles while I was covering a district soccer game at night in the BFE that surrounds Bloomington, Ind. I drove it home in 1st gear the entire 2 hour or so trip. I did not replace it with another Ford.

 

I drive a Taurus. Just passed 100,000 miles
I still have 2 1/2 years left on the loan. Hope it lasts that long.

 

My parents owned an 86 Taurus wagon. I liked driving it.
Now my brother works for the local Ford dealership, so since I get a little discount, I drive an Explorer.
Next year, this is what I want.

I need AWD where I live and this gets better gas mileage than a SUV, plus I like the looks.

 

Let's take up a collection and buy Patchs a new car:

 

Counting all the rentals, I think I've driven this car more often than any other model, and it's not even close.

 

What?
They were out of Le Cars?
Or Fiats?

 

Reminds me of a line from WKRP. Herb may have actually sold some advertising and says to Mr. Carlson, "Big Guy, next year it's a Cordoba".

I actually owned one of those suckers Bought it used when I was "between jobs'. A 1982 black gas guzzling monster with vinyl roof and fake wire wheels. It had more blind spots than Helen Keller. One of my twins--maybe four at the time-immediately dubbed it "Black Beauty"

It was all the proof you needed that the North American auto industry had gone to hell in a hand basket