RIP Craig Sager

........"AND THE UNDISPUTED HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOORRRLLLLDDD............VVVVVAA--GGGGGIIIIIINNNNNAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

There's nothing like a death in the family to bring out the worst in people. Someone swoops in and grabs grandma's good jewelry before the body is cold, or siblings get in an argument over a crappy old piece of furniture they both want and then don't speak to each other for the next twelve years. Just stupid, crass, horrible behavior.

My parents had each of their sons make a list of their various possessions in order of preference, resolved the differences as best they could, and each piece had a piece of tape with someone's name on the back or underneath... and my oldest brother decided that it would be better to take turns choosing instead. Sigh. I don't really have (too) many hard feelings about that, but his scooping up dad's guns and fishing rods really hacked me off.

We only have one son, so at least that won't be an issue.

 

What did the BM tweet say? Google of no help.

 

It's always on the parent when this sort of stuff happens. Especially one with a lingering illness who had time to set things up properly.

My old man died of kidney disease that gave plenty of notice. So he willfully had me listed at the bottom of his will, after the second wife of five years and her five kids (his stepkids, all but one grown and older than me when he finally died). But the most annoying part was HIS father, my grandfather, had died a few months before and his home still was up for sale. When it sold, the proceeds were split between my uncle (dad's brother) and my stepmom/widow. In other words, she got half of everything my grandfather had amassed in his life, for five years of marriage to one of his sons. Had my father died before gramps, that half would have gone to me. To this day, years later, I don't care about the money involved. But the way it went down was just wrong. You'd think the second wife, who already had buried one husband, could have declined to take my grandfather's $ and stuff. Nope.

The bottom line remains the same: My dad was at fault for not doing the right things.

 

It would be easier if we all were like Saul from Ocean’s 11. “I want my last check to bounce.”

I feel no entitlement to my parents’ possessions. They belong to them, not me. I’m even OK if they leave the whole house to my loser brother.

When my father-in-law died somewhat unexpectedly, my wife’s sister moved back home with her mom and has stayed there the last eight years. Now, her mom is talking about giving the house and car to the oldest (“because she doesn’t have a house or car”) and moving to a senior rental complex under construction across from her house. And we’ve just shrugged, as has one of the other two siblings. The third sibling is absolutely losing her sh*t over it. And I understand that, too.

 

That has always been my take as well. When my father died, all I really cared about was my half brother, who was only 10. His mother was MIA at the time, though she eventually resurfaced. That situation was a mess for quite a while, but somehow he got through it and built a great life for himself.

When my mother died, it was all about respecting her wishes. She just split everything between my brother and I and even with that simple arrangement, there have been issues. Most of it was medical bills, because she was in very poor health for a long time before she died.

 

If/when somebody leaves something to me, cool.

But I would feel like a slimy piece of shit for bringing up the subject myself. Before or after the death.

 

Here's one from mid-December, but I don't think this is the one Moddy quoted last week:

 

Thanks. I was engaged in that spat, but can't find anything about the latest "Loading Tweet" from the past week.

 

She said, and I'm paraphrasing, that it was unseemly for the Sagers to be whining about their lack of an inheritance. (Which isn't what they were doing.)

 

It’s easy to say “I don’t need that” or “I don’t want the money.” I agree in large part. But how will you feel about your new stepbrothers and stepsisters inheriting all your dad’s stuff because their mom got some work done and married the right guy?

 

Maybe if I was a Sager kid — broken home, only a few years removed from living there — I would feel more of a connection to my dad’s stuff. But having been away from home 25 years, I have no attachment to my folks’ house (not the one I grew up in) or the things inside. Any of their cash or equity was accumulated long after I left home.

I actually can think of only two things I would ask for, and they all were my great-grandfather’s: A century-old watercolor painting of his father’s childhood home, which now sits at the bottom of the manmade lake I live near, and his “Stephen H. MMSW, Justice of the Peace” sign that hung outside his home in the 1940s.