Reporter's final column

Came across this on Fark. It's a BLOG! where a reporter posted his final column, which the newspaper spiked.

"In terms of the raw altruism required, working for a newspaper is kind of like doing a stint in the Peace Corps, only the hours are worse and everybody hates you."

http://explodingunicorn.blogspot.com/2008/04/view-from-somewhere-else.html

 

That might be the most awesome thing ever posted on the internet that didn't involve midgets fucking.

 

As a newspaper column, that makes a barely readable blog post.

 

Are you serious? I thought it was hilarious.

That controversial development they’re planning for a site near your home might not save your town, but it likely won’t kill your children either. The obvious exception to that is the child-killing plant they’re planning to build on U.S. 52. You haven’t heard about it yet because newspapers are covering it up as part of the highly-coordinated media conspiracy.

Breaking news just happens to be almost exclusively bad simply because good news is seldom sudden. I’ve covered lots of late night crashes that resulted in fatalities, but I’ve covered very few that resulted in puppies.

 

I thought it was a masterpiece...

 

Fantastic work.

 

Sounds like the guy wasn't cut out to be a reporter.

He might make a great humor columnist (hi Dave Barry!)

 

Spectacular.

 

That was solid.
Doesn't offer much except a good laugh, but hey, we need that.

 

"Breaking news just happens to be almost exclusively bad simply because good news is seldom sudden. I’ve covered lots of late night crashes that resulted in fatalities, but I’ve covered very few that resulted in puppies. Maybe there is such a thing as good breaking news, and maybe horrible vehicular collisions really can result in cute, cuddly animals. They don’t teach you that stuff until your second year in journalism, so I’ll probably never know."

Great stuff.

 

And, of course, here comes the cavalry:

"for what it's worth, i hate reporters. on the whole, you are lazy and undereducated. you also whine too much when you're not deliberately misinforming the public."

 

Oh, it gets better.