Relationships

as to the question at hand, relationships aren't easy even if two people have similar work schedules. it takes more work to make it work than some people put into it, and i was guilty of that the first time around. my ex-wife understand my work schedule but was a horrible communicator (i had my faults, too). i won't blame the demise of the marriage on my schedule but it didn't help because a lot our conversations were of little substance and often over the phone.

these days, my wife understands my work schedule and communicates like a champ, and still she gets flustered. i had a work trip spring up on me last second and i get back from that trip the day before we leave for vacation. she vented this morning. i tried to alleviate her concerns. that's that.

someone who understands and communicates is essential no matter what you do.

 

This is part of what I refer to as my Third Date Speech. Selected phrases include:

I work in sports. Sports happens at night and on the weekends. Sports does not happen at noon on a Tuesday. When most people are not working, they recreate. If they are recreating, I have to be working. I love what I do, and I will not give it up for you.

Because I work in sports, I work mostly with men. You need to be secure enough to handle this fact. If you cannot be OK with this, you are not the guy for me.

(There are other parts of the Third Date Speech that deal with more personal issues, but you get the idea.)

 

I'm going to copy this into my book, Cadet. Sound stuff.

 

They can also hurt you badly with very little effort.

My then-girlfriend and I moved from the same p.m. to an a.m. together for one of my first jobs. At the old place, I was sports editor doing days to produce the p.m. and she was a designer in ads, working 8-5, so it worked out well. I had to work at least a few nights a week, but it was tolerable. At the new gig she was still an ad designer -- and still worked 8-5 -- but I was now on the 3 p.m.-1 a.m. shift and this did not play so well. It was fucking misery and is far worse when you actually have to make a choice, which is to say, you love the woman.

I left the business and am now in it on a freelance basis and as an educator. Some things are more important and I miss working in newsrooms, but it was the right decision for a lot of reasons.

 

That's good stuff, Cadet. I'll spare you the right-fella-will-come-along speech.

 

Somebody said that last week, too. Who waits for the third date anymore? :

 

A girl go on three good dates and she be like, "Why we bullshittin'?"

 

I NEVER go ATM until at least the third date.

I just think it's classier to wait.

 

See, if we get to the Third Date Speech we assume he's passed the Second Date Is His Dick Big Enough Test.

 

You NEVER go ATM.