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Relationship advice needed

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by redman biffle, Nov 4, 2010.

  1. redman biffle

    redman biffle New Member

    I have been broken up with my former girlfriend for about a year and a half now and we basically broke up because I refused to change after we dated for 2 years. She is a very religious temperamental latina and I am a white dude. I wouldn't quit drinking, clubbing, cussing and wouldn't consider the possibility of going to church with her at that time. Well since we broke up we have continued to stay in touch through e-mail and were communicating up until recently. But I made the serious mistake recently of sending her a teddy bear indicating love interest and now she says she doesn't ever want to talk to me ever again and she brought the bear by my apartment landlord's office and left it there for me to pick up to avoid contact with me. I know I messed up and wussed out. But I am so confused because she said the same thing to me in March after we had an argument over our differences and then in May I sent her a geranium as a sign of friendship and she sent me an e-mail saying that was sweet and said it might be possible for us to talk again soon but that her life was complicated at the moment. She also went out of her way in March to tell me that she had fallen in love last October with someone else and had moved on. But yet last December she talked on the phone with me for 2 hours when I brought up the possibility of getting back together and confronted me about a rumor she heard that I was dating someone else. So why would she do this if she had moved on. So here is my situation.
    I sent her an e-mail saying I wouldn't contact her anymore but that I did hope at some point that she would reconsider hanging out cause I enjoy her company and conversation. I am trying to get back to basics and keep it on a let's have a cup of coffee level. As a sidenote, let me make it clear that I did break up with her twice because I was unwilling to change my selfish ways at that time but have realized now that I love her, want to be her and am willing to give up the bad habits. She told me she doesn't trust me and will not allow me to break her heart again. But yet until recently she was still talking to me. So what do you guys think? I don't plan on talking to her for at least a year cause I want her to date other people and give things time to cool down. Plus I am moving back home trying to save money to buy a house. But I don't want to wait too long til it's too late ya know what I mean. I really do care for her feelings and want her in my life even as a friend.
  2. melock

    melock Well-Known Member

    You're all over the place here. I have no idea where to begin. I'll keep it simple. If you want to be with her tell her that straight up. If she declines then it's time to move on. If you want to remain friends that's your choice, but seems like you'd only be torturing yourself.
  3. Rumpleforeskin

    Rumpleforeskin Active Member

    You're definitely all over the place and I'd suggest you just move on. If she wants to contact you as a friend, let her, but you've gone WAY overboard in the situation.
  4. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Why do I feel like I've read that somewhere before? I mean, practically word for word. Seriously.
  5. spnited

    spnited Active Member

    Probably because some other sock puppet (or maybe this sock puppet) used the same routine once before.
    There is no reason to take this moron seriously
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    I'd like not_who_i_usually_am to weigh in on this.
  7. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    You don't need relationship advice....you don't have a relationship. You need 'Get Over it Already' advice.

    You've been broken up for a year and a half? And you're still trying to get her back? That's a lot of wasted life. Stop looking for 'signs,' leave her alone, and move on. The fact that she talks to you doesn't mean she wants an intimate relationship with you.

    Your description of her as a 'very religious tempermental latina' makes it pretty clear you don't have a whole lot of respect for this woman. You broke up with her twice, you could have made changes in your life along the way if she really mattered to you. You didn't. She gets it. Move on.
  8. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    Where do you go clubbing?
  9. I'll never tell

    I'll never tell Active Member

    That was not the last vagina on the planet. Because I have a sneaky suspicion that you might do this, when attempting to see the next one, don't talk about the last one.
  10. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    My first thought when I was about halfway through: How did this months-old discussion get revived?
  11. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    Send the same to SportsJournalists.com.
  12. Drip

    Drip Active Member

    This what you should do newbie.
    If you want to have a relationship, tell her how you feel and approach her FIRST as a friend.
    If you are serious about making a change in your lifestyle, she will see it.
    If she doesn't want you in her life, and right now that appears to be the case, it's time to move on.
    Good luck.
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