Red Sox scout throws kittens off cliff

http://deadspin.com/363690/red-sox-scout-endures-the-long-nights-on-the-road-in-the-wrong-way

A Red Sox scout was arrested for staring at a couple underage girls out a hotel window while masturbating.


I wonder if the arresting officer glanced down at one of the girls and said, "Hey, now there's a pretty girl. I wonder if she dates one of the YANKees."

 

That's against the law?

 

I think masturbating out the window would have been worse.

 

Fore!

 

Turns out maybe it wasn't the scout's first time doing this at the same hotel.

From the police report:

http://www.pdfdownload.org/pdf2html/pdf2html.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wptv.com%2Fmedia%2Fnews%2F2%2F3%2Fc%2F23c1638b-48c2-479f-adab-af76049d7dd9%2FArrest.pdf&images=yes

 

I bet the guy wishes he had closed his curtains and bought a Glamour magazine.

 

I guess you can say this guy was caught looking for his third strike.

 

Somewhere, a SpectraVision executive shakes his head sadly at the strangeness of the modern world.

 

"Art, there's a guy out there who is a dead ringer for you."
"no way! I'll bet you $100,000 he looks nothing like me!"

 

You got something against saving $9.95?

 

Ace between this and the Glamour comment I'm beginning to think you're cheap enough to be an executive at the Plain-Dealer.

 

B,

I think you are onto something. I have been setting my sights too low!

Great thinking. Once I'm publisher, I'll make you my first fire.