Really, Reilly?

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=4068270

His latest column, er, PR piece (A day in the life of Kobe). A couple lowlights:

"Gods do not park."

" … I'm just very thankful and blessed. It was really close there for awhile."
Even a weekly shopper reporter would follow that answer up with, "What do you mean?" But a knucklehead in a Ford truck is trying to cut in front of us so his buddy can take a picture out of the back window, so I ask, "Do you ever wreck on this commute?"

Do you love it? His ice jug gets a police escort.

He laughs and looks at me like I just landed from the planet Nimrod.

And to think: I used to love reading Rick Reilly. I'm hurt.

 

Feathery light in its "writing," but I was interested to see how long a day a prominent player has before the game.

 

At least he's still clever as ever...

 

I might think it slightly admirable that Kobe and Vanessa don't have nannies for their kids, if I hadn't read about what (allegedly) happened to the last nanny. Regrettably, Rick doesn't feel the "no nannies" point needs any elaboration. No, his morning beverage of choice is much more worthy of such detail.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

Oh, how, indeed? :

 

Rare is the time when Kobe is not the biggest ego in his own car.

 

They made up for it with the bullshit subhead about how he has "already put in a day's work" before the game starts, as if a one-hour workout and a two-hour shootaround constitute "work." Oh, sorry, he also ices his legs and takes a nap. Geez, the guys in the coal mine sure do feel bad that Kobe has to work soooo hard. :

 

That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!

 

It hurt to read that. I read the whole thing hoping there would be something of value. My mistake. And why do these pompous a-holes think anyone cares what kind of coffee they drink? He can shove his venti mochachino up his arse. Hard to belive this is the same guy who was a must-read for so many years.

 

Did the same thing, and had the same result.

 

I sort of enjoyed it, but as a Lakers fan I'm part of the target audience and can see it'd have pretty limited appeal otherwise. At least there weren't any dental references.

And since I'm married to the best damn nanny in New York City, I do have to provide a bit of defense for all nannies. The lady who's suing the Bryants was actually their housekeeper. Part of my wife's work agreements has always been that she does not do housework. She'll occasionally pick up something or teach the kids to clean up after themselves, but she's there for the kids, not the laundry or dusting duties.

And I wouldn't give any extra applause just because they don't have a nanny, although a lot of celebs make that claim and it's often untrue. If she doesn't great. But even if she did, doesn't mean there'd be something negative to say about her mothering skills. If raising a child is the most important job people will have, it'd make sense to have people around you who are experts in the field and can bring the experience, skills, and love that the best nannies provide. People hire experts for all aspects of their lives, for things that are much less important than their children; if they're able to hire a top-notch nanny (and whoa, let's not call a good nanny a babysitter either) and are willing to pay them what they deserve, I think it's a good thing.

I typed this while sipping my delicious Dr. Pepper.

 

Um, lest the wrath of IJAG be unleashed, you'd better take the period off the Dr in Dr Pepper.

 

And whoa, wouldn't think of it! Why can't nannies just get a fair shake, damn it?