Ravens fire Billick

The next week or so should be very interesting around Lionsland.

OF COURSE, the sensible thing to do would be to...




.. but since THAT apparently isn't going to happen, they're going to do the next "logical" thing -- send Mike Martz and his hissy-fit playcalling (utterly refusing to call running plays for weeks on end, then when he's point-blank ORDERED to run the ball or throw it to Calvin Johnson, he goes entire games doing nothing else) and his weird borderline-homoerotic fixation on Jeebus-Boy Jon Unitas Kitna out of town. A suitable and unconditionally deserving scapegoat.

Of course, you probably COULD argue that the Lions coordinator who really SHOULD be fired is DC Jon Barry, who took a unit which ranked 26th in the NFL last year and steered it straight to a solid 32nd place this season. Of course, Barry cannot be fired, because he happens to be the son-in-law of the head coach, Meat Sauce Marinelli, the supposed guru of the Tampa 2, who broke the world record for dimwitted dumbass cliches while continually affecting the deer-in-the headlights sideline look. He really ought to wear a propeller beanie with a chinstrap, if only to keep his jaw from dangling open during action.

Aaaannyway, getting back to Martz, the apparent pick to replace HIM is receivers coach Kippy Brown, a formerly utterly undistinguished OC for the Dolphins in their late Jimmy Johnson doldrum seasons, who supposedly will "maintain some continuity" in the offense (never mind that the receivers, supposedly stocked with talent, are yet another catastrophically underperforming unit of the team).

An educated guess might be that Millen and Marinelli, or some combination thereof, made known their desire to dump Martz and bring in another established offensive coordinator, and somebody upstairs (Junior or Daddy Ford??? ) said, "Uh-uh, no siree sir, we're pulling the plug right here. We're not giving you the money to go out and get a Cameron or Billick or (insert name of any other supposedly well-known OC). You promote somebody on the current staff and make it work. Sink or swim. No more blank checkbook. You've been allowed to fob off your bullshit on three coaching staffs, that's it. Make it work."

Possibly -- dare we hope ??? -- Millen might take this as an affront to his judgment and track record, and respond with, "fuck you, I quit??"

Keep hope alive.

 

This is my early candidate for post of the year. Only 364 more days.

 

Billick seems universally reviled as a dick, but he did have one of the more memorable locker room rants captued on camera during the Ravens Super Bowl season, I think it was after they beat the Titans or Broncos in the playoffs.

"When you go into the lion's den, you don't tippy-toe in. You carry a spear, you go in screaming like a banshee and say, 'Where's the son of a bitch?' If you go in any other way, you're going to lose."

 

Outing alert: Starman is RokSki.

 

ESPN is reporting that Garrett will stay in Dallas.