Rat in the toilet

You know, I'd heard of rats coming up sewer pipes. But nothing prepares you for flipping up the lid and seeing one swimming around. City sewer department said to flush it. So I did and it is gone.

I am freaked out, man. Seriously freaked out.

 

Can't blame a creature for being hungry

 

I'll send it your way then.

 

You heartless bastard. Pool little fella swims what can only be compared to the English Channel, and while he treads water trying to catch a breath, you send him on a return trip.

The least you could have done was give him a cheese cube as a last meal, tie a little blindfold around his head and offer a cigarette.

 

I would never poop again.

 

I was in a press box bathroom years ago at BU and started to hear some squealing coming from the wall. I judiciously passed on using the commode.

 

Sounds like a great iPad game.

'You conquered Angry Birds...but can you handle....RAT IN THE TOILET!'

 

Man, would that freak me the frick out too. Holy crap. One of those things you hear about being out there, but don't want to think about.

It does sound like a much better video game than real-life experience.

How did you have enough time to call the sewer department though? Was the thing doing laps or something?

 

Put the lid back down, put a trash can on top (just in case it could fly or something) and called. Flushed four times.

From what I read online, once they get in the bowl they can't get out. No way to grip and jump or something.

 

They don't eat, don't sleep
They don't feed, they don't seethe
Bare their gums when they moan and squeak
Lick the dirt off a larger one's feet
They don't push, don't crowd
Congregate until they're much too loud
Fuck to procreate till they are dead
Drink the blood of their so called best friend

They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way
Don't pack themselves together and run as one
Don't shit where they're not supposed to
Don't take what's not theirs, they don't compare

They don't scam, don't fight
Don't oppress an equals given rights
Starve the poor so they can be well fed
Line their holes with the dead ones bread

They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way
Don't pack themselves together and run as one (2x)
Don't shit where they're not supposed to
Don't take what's not theirs, they don't compare...

Rats...They don't compare (2x)
Ben, the two of us need look no more (6X)

 

About a week ago I was waiting for the subway, and I was watching this precocious rat (there was nothing else to do). It was running around about 20 feet from me. At one point it went behind a bench where this guy was sitting and talking on the phone. He had his legs bent backward under the bench and I watched as the rat went up to his foot.

I figured it would run away, but instead it started to crawl up the back of his leg. Since he was on the phone and not paying attention, it took about five seconds before he realized there was a rat on the back of his leg and kicked it off. I clearly am too used to rats as this amused me instead of grossing me out.

 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I am going to have nightmares.