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Rapist contacts victim 21 years later; victim presses charges

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by buckweaver, Feb 25, 2007.

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  1. buckweaver

    buckweaver Active Member

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070225/ap_on_re_us/to_forgive_7

    Wow. Absolutely heart-wrenching.
     
    buckweaver, Feb 25, 2007
    #1
  2. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    wow buck - how the heck did you stumble across that?
     
    Tom Petty, Feb 25, 2007
    #2
  3. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    I had tears welling up in my eyes reading that.

    I am all for anyone with a problem trying to address it, but without knowing much about AA, it sounds to me like that "9th Step" in the hands of a lout is a recipe for disaster. What is the purpose? Is it to assuage your own guilt? Is it to benefit the people you've "harmed"? I'm guessing it's not the former, because that's crappy--dragging people you've already hurt back into your world (in which you've shown a propensity to hurt people), whether they want it or not. But the purpose of AA is to help yourself, not others, so it doesn't seem likely that it's completely about somehow benefiting the people you've harmed. Then you take something that murky--something that requires good judgment to decide who to approach and who not to--and you put those decisions in the hands of people who by and large have made a life of bad judgments. Whatever the purpose, this shithead took it to mean, "get forgiveness--this is about me (it's all about me!), not about any more harm I might do." I am guessing many take it to mean that.

    I'm heartbroken that this woman got hurt all over again. But if there is anything close to a red bow on her renewed pain, it's that she didn't give him his easy forgiveness and a small (way too small) bit of justice was served after so much time in which it seemed like none would ever come. Too bad it didn't happen at the time and way of her choosing. She deserved better.

    The part about the letters she got after he was arrested, blew me away. I accept the usual assortment of crazies threatening rape and dismemberment. But Christians condemning her for pressing charges and admonishing her to forgive? People like this make me see red. They take their value system (which they likely don't follow in their own life) and project it onto strangers in their weakest moments. Do their Christian values say anything about causing someone more pain and hurt because of their shitty need to tell others how to feel?
     
    The Big Ragu, Feb 25, 2007
    #3
  4. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    This has never happend to Earl
     
    Boom_70, Feb 25, 2007
    #4
  5. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    For those who like to bash AP writers, that sure was well done. She built it layer by layer, pacing it beautifully.
     
    Montezuma's Revenge, Feb 25, 2007
    #5
  6. Sxysprtswrtr

    Sxysprtswrtr Active Member

    If anyone gets a chance to see the Dateline NBC piece, I'd recommend it.

    This NBC report aired May 19, 2005, and was updated and rebroadcast on January 27, 2006.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12876396/
     
    Sxysprtswrtr, Feb 25, 2007
    #6
  7. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    That was a tremendous last line.
     
    Jones, Feb 25, 2007
    #7
  8. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Outstanding story. I literally felt a chill going up my spine several times throughout that story.
     
    alleyallen, Feb 25, 2007
    #8
  9. kingcreole

    kingcreole Active Member

    That was a terrible story to read (not terribly written). It made me sad. That fucker deserves plenty of time in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. I feel no remorse or sympathy for him. He was trying to apologize for his benefit, not for hers.

    Sad, sad story.
     
    kingcreole, Feb 25, 2007
    #9
  10. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    Sxy, I'm glad you posted that. I didn't read the AP story, but it sounded like the story I saw on Dateline. That had me crying.

    Talk about opening old wounds with no benefit.
     
    imjustagirl2, Feb 25, 2007
    #10
  11. spup1122

    spup1122 Guest

    Absolutely chilling. I read it and thought, "Great last line" and smiled when Jones said the same thing. No one should have to go through what she did. Unfortunately, it continues on college campuses to this day. The story was written so well, I felt like I was next to her as she read the letter and could hear her daughter crying in the back seat.
     
    spup1122, Feb 25, 2007
    #11
  12. D-Backs Hack

    D-Backs Hack Guest

    The Bible teaches, clearly: Forgiveness is not for the sinner. It's for you. As someone who has experienced the letting go that forgiveness offers, I can testify wholeheartedly that is true. I'm sure that's where some, but probably not all, of those Christian letter-writers were coming from.

    As for me, I'm in no position to suggest to the victim what to do. I couldn't begin to comprehend the torment she's felt over the years, and if the justice system running its course helps her get even a semblance of peace, that's good.

    I feel bad for the mess the assailant has made of his life. I admire what was probably a genuine attempt to express his sorrow and shame at first, but it quickly seemed half-assed.

    "My conduct has damaged you." God, I hate that fraternity-speak. I covered cops for a while in college, and we'd get those kind of quotes every time Greek system malfeasance was uncovered.
     
    D-Backs Hack, Feb 25, 2007
    #12
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