Raising kids in the city

I am a lifelong suburbanite ... always within 30 miles of Manhattan ... and I can't imagine anything thing better.
Growing up in a small, blue-collar town in New Jersey, in a neighborhood full of kids, with parks and ballfields and no fear of crime...
Growing up to the point of appreciating that less than 30 minutes away was the greatest city in the world ... shows, clubs, museums, nightlife.
To this day, I love living in New Jersey and I love being able to be in midtown Manhattan in a matter of minutes.
The best of both worlds.

 

I grew up in a little bit of both ... Milwaukee proper in an All In The Family-like neighborhood until I was nine. ... Brief sojourn to a far north Dallas suburb when I was in fourth and fifth grade ... back to my old neighborhood in Milwaukee for three-and-a-half years ... Indianapolis subdivision in high school.

I far prefer the city, provided I have access to good services, and now, good schools. I qualify that by stressing I lived in middle class Milwaukee (Washington Heights, later far east side Wauwatosa) in the 70s and 80s and I went to a Catholic school. No crime to speak of, but we had the trappings of the city in our neighborhood. I just liked the idea that you could walk anywhere you wanted, people had a long-term commitment to the neighborhood (or at least there was a core of people who did), and there was a familiarity born of out common experience.

Suburbia? In Indy, we lived in a then-relatively brand-new subdivision in Castleton, which in 1986 was on the edge of Indy's development (since dwarfed).

Nice place to live, but no one grew up there, there was no corner shop to walk to, there were few connections to anything. Other than my high school friends I met, whose parents still live there, I have absolutely no wistful feelings about living there. Subdivisions have no soul at all.

It was worse when my dad moved to a subdivision south of Akron (now Green, but it wasn't incorporated back then) just as I started college. I hated it there. At least in Indy, we were connected to the rest of the city. Our house was beautiful (and haunted! I swear it!), but it was in one of those faceless subdivisions they carved out of some farmer's land not too far off a freeway exit. Not only was it not neighborly, it was almost quite the opposite.

Everyone lived in their own little box, rarely interacting with others. You had to drive everywhere, which in itself prevents interaction and a collective sense of being with your neighbors.

The only thing the neighborhood had any unity on was this asinine Christmas light game of oneupsmanship as the neighborhood somehow was a destination spot for Akron/Canton folks checking out lights. I was so proud of my dad that our minimalist, white-light only display was a sort of unintended eff you to both the light seekers and our neighbors.

Much of my life has been spent finding the right place in the right neighborhood. I finally pulled it off with my current house in a small city ... nice neighborhood in the middle of the city I work in. Public and private schools are two blocks away, stores are a few more, my office is a mile away. We actually know our neighbors, we actually feel a bond with where we live. We're proud of where we live, and despite the beautiful houses my dad has owned (and still owns) in subdivision-style neighborhoods, I could never feel that way in those places. It is chillingly similar to my original Milwaukee neighborhood.

 

I'd never do it... Find a good neighborhood in the burbs with a white picket fence and then commute to work...

I'm all for living near the city and being around the city on a regular basis for ballgames, movies, shows, concerts, museums and all that fun stuff, but when I put my kids to bed, I don't mind there being 20 miles between them and the city...

Also, based on the three cities you mentioned, you will be paying out of your asshole for an apartment that can fit a family of four...

One of my best friends lives in Manhattan. They have an apartment where the rent is more than twice my mortgage. They have two kids. We have two kids. They have two bedrooms and their kids have to share a room. I have four bedrooms and a playroom. I have a yard. They have a balcony. I can get a dog. They can't.

The question becomes are you living in the city for you, or for your kids?

 

That's probably the first thing we've ever agreed on, Mizzou.

 

I grew up in a county (didn't even live "in" town) that defines the sticks, but now I live in the burbs of Atlanta. I have been very seriously considering getting back to the sticks. It is looking more and more worth giving up some career opportunities to get back to that "simple" life of the sticks. I would certainly rather raise my future children there.