R.I.P. Daytime Soaps

The only thing keeping the ABC lineup, Days of Our Lives and Young & The Restless alive is the reruns on SoapNet. Which will end in Jan 2012, when SoapNet is spiked for some shitty Disney station designed to get parents to spend money on their little brats.

http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2010/05/26/soapnet-will-go-dark-to-make-way-for-disney-junior/

 

Disney Junior? Holy fuck......

"Around the world, our Disney-branded channels are burgeoning, distinguished by the special place Disney has in the hearts of kids — who delight in our characters and stories — and parents who trust our commitment to entertaining and helping their preschoolers, kids and tweens grow through engaging, relevant programming. By adding a dedicated U.S. channel for preschoolers to our global portfolio, we look forward to enhancing that sense of magical storytelling and parental trust, and expanding our offerings, locally and globally, from morning to night, to deliver more Disney-quality content that will resonate with generations to come."

Jesus Christ. Where do we keep the barf bags??

As for SoapNet, it seems to me that it's a strong enough entity that it could continue to exist under new ownership. Perhaps its future may even be online.

 

BUY OUR SHIT!!!!!

 

"Around the world, our Disney-branded channels are burgeoning, distinguished by the special place Disney has in the hearts of kids — who delight in our characters and stories — and parents who trust our commitment to entertaining and helping their preschoolers, kids and tweens grow through engaging, relevant programming. By adding a dedicated U.S. channel for preschoolers to our global portfolio, we look forward to enhancing that sense of magical storytelling and parental trust, and expanding our offerings, locally and globally, from morning to night, to deliver more Disney-quality content that will resonate with generations to come."

Translation - We're after even more kids who are too young to realize what greedy parasites we are!! We're also targeting more parents who are either blissfully naive about who we are and what we do, or simply don't give a shit that we talk the talk about family-friendly entertainment but, by putting sluts in training like Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens in your faces 24/7, can hardly be perceived by the sane to be walking the walk.

 

DOOL has been dead ever since Jack and Jennifer left.

 

I'll give five bucks to whoever can diagram the sentences in Disney's press release.

 

Disney Junior? How many Disney channels are there already? I know we have at least three or four on our Dish package, and our room at the Disney resort last summer had probably about 10 Disney channels.

Disney Junior? What the fuck? When's Disney Senior hit the air? Disney Teen? Disney 20-Something?

 

I understand the appeal for Disney Junior -- they compete with Nickelodeon for the kids TV market, and there's already a Nick Jr. network. I actually wouldn't be surprised to see a Disney Teen at some point to compete with Teen Nick (formerly The N).

I draw the line at Disney Embryo.

 

First-rate.

 

Likely to battle Sprout as well.

This has been Disney's m.o. in terms of children's programming for sometime. Take a PBS-type show and retool it for Disney. Handy Manny=Bob the Builder. Imagination Movers=The Wiggles. There are several others, but I don't want to think of them right now.

 

Disney just has the interests of your man-card at heart, beej