R I P.: D. James Kennedy

Reported this A. M. --

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/05/AR2007090500789.html

 

Re: R I P (?) D. James Kennedy

Another dead Kennedy.

 

Re: R I P (?) D. James Kennedy

Because he embraced conservative beliefs, we should quibble over whether to wish him peace in passing? (I've already gone on the record as saying this RIP shit is just that, shit, but whatever)

Godspeed, Reverend Kennedy ...

...

...

...

... Kennedy

 

You make a good point, Mystery. I make note of his passing in general. The question mark was probably in bad taste, but I also saw reaction to even mentioning it going in the other direction, too.

As for RIPs being BS, I think not: Among other things, it shows we sports writers are at least paying attention to obits of the famous and infamous....Not just the agate and front page of our own sections.

 

I hope Big Gay Jesus is the forgiving sort.

 

My feeling on RIP is this: if there's an afterlife, our wishing them rest in vain is pointless. They're in heaven, hell, or some other place, and we can't do anything to change that. If there's no afterlife, then there's nothing to rest than a body. But the bigger issue is I think people say "RIP" because it makes them feel good about themselves, like "hey look at me, I'm sensitive and caring". Or they do it because everyone else is doing it and they don't want to come off as being callus (see also: standing ovations).

 

Wow. I've never thought about the words that literally before. To me, the phrase has taken on a life beyond what the words actually mean. I do view it as a small token of respect — a tip of the cap — even if it doesn't word for word mean shit.

On here, is it really anything more than just a way to start a conversation? What would you rather have?

D.James Kennedy kicks it
D.James Kennedy bites the dust
D.James Kennedy — Fucking dead.

 

A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this man I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, D. James Kennedy...What's,uh...What's wrong with him?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with him, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead D. James Kennedy when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, D. James Kennedy, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! 'Ello, Mister D. James Kennedy! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you...
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: 'ELLO D. JAMES!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes D. James Kennedy out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead D. James Kennedy.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! D. James Kennedys stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That D. James Kennedy is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ? ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: D. James Kennedy prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining D. James Kennedy when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed D. James Kennedy down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, D. James Kennedy wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through him! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! D. James Kennedy is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX- D. James Kennedy!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, ? we're right out of Kennedys.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a Bush.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.