Quitting Drinking

Fuh Real first I want to say congratulations for being able to come to the conclusion that you have a problem and want to quit. Second it took courage to post about it, with or without your usual name.

A lot of people don't realize that even if you don't drink on a daily basis, you can still have a problem. And the problem doesn't always surface.

My husband has a problem with it. Sometimes he can drink and be fine to be around, but other times he morphs into this complete bastard. He becomes completely impossible to talk to, because the alcohol has literally taken over and buried the decent person somewhere inside.

I agree with the ones who have mentioned taking yourself out of situations where you might be more tempted to drink. There's no use in tormenting yourself like that until you are over the first few hills of giving it up.

Personally I think you've already made it over one of the most important hills by deciding you want to quit.

How far you need to go for help in quitting will just depend on how easy or difficult giving it up is for you (and it can change from time to time). Just don't get too discouraged if you find yourself struggling.

 

I pray that you get the power you seek to stop drinking.

 

Good for you, dude. It's not a bad thing wanting to clean up a part of your life.

I turned the corner a good bit when I began preferring to come home and know my entire family was under one roof safe at night ... including me.

And I turned the corner for good when I realized that I'd rather come home and park myself in front of the TV instead of racing through last call, seeing how much beer I could dump down my throat by 2:30.

Today, I'll usually have a beer if I go out for dinner. But if I order a second, I usually don't finish it. Just not a priority anymore.

If you don't need AA -- and I believe you don't -- just stop drinking. Drive home instead of to the bar, and mentally congratulate yourself on the way home.

 

I know this is easier said than done, but try to occupy your time with so much that at the end of the day, you don't have the energy to get ready, go out and drink. Or even walk over to the fridge and crack open a cold one. The gym can do wonders for you, and if you quit the booze, you'll see the results even faster. Good luck to you, man.

 

I worry about the 'take yourself out of those situations' philosophy....people who have a problem with alcohol live in the situation. You can be at home alone, or stuck in an airport, or at a business dinner, or at your niece's wedding.....if there's alcohol, you're in the situation.

It's hard to know what defines a problem with alcohol, but I think one of the symptoms is wanting to stop but can't. Or at the very least, wanting to cut back but can't.

Can you set a short term goal, and see how it goes? A week? Two? One day at a time, so they say. If you reach your goal, add on to it. If you can't last a week or two....maybe your problem is bigger than you think. Good luck.

 

Don't be too quick to rule out AA. There are a lot of things that define alcoholism, not just drinking every night or binging on the weekends. The group can help even if you think you have a potential problem or have a hard time quitting when you want to. And, like was said a bit earlier, the fact that you show the concern my be indication that you need some help. The fact that a relationship might have been ruined due to drinking also is a red flag.

I come from a family where alcoholism runs rampant. Almost killed my dad -- he's been sober for 11 years now -- and alcoholism still affects my mom. She is certainly in denial. She doesn't come close to drinking every night, but gets drunk on a schedule. It can be scarier than when my dad was sloshed every day. Because of this I pretty much never drank. Some people don't get it, but you would be amazed at how supportive people are, even if you don't give them the reason you have for not drinking. Those close to you will definitely support you in this effort.

 

A recovering adict once told me "If you think you have a problem, you probably do."

 

If I drink, a lot of the times I know my limit and where I need to stop. I will have a few beers, relax and just be done with it. I don't want to be "that guy" in the bar like several of you are saying or "that guy" at a party. When I last drank however, I transcended the boundary and became him. Only a few instances brought more shame onto my conscious than that night. The next day at work that was all I could think about, plus the thought that I might have ruined a relationship. It turns out I didn't ruin the relationship, but it led to the significant other saying that she was afraid I would "hit her", even though I would never lay a hand on anyone, especially a woman. That is what made me fearful the most. Not only the fact that I embarassed myself beyond belief, but my girlfriend would think that I would be drunk to the stage of hitting her.

I excercise regularly, I belong to a gym, and I take pride in my body. I do run but haven't been out there in a while, and that is where I do most of my thinking. Maybe one of these days I just have to go out there and kick my own ass with a run or just lift until my arms fall off.

 

The more I read about your situation, the more I think that the problem you need to tackle could be something else. Is there something that caused you to drink that much? I think fixing that might fix your drinking problem, however serious it might be.

And 21 is right that you can't take yourself out of situations that involve alcohol. What I'm talking about, though,is taking yourself out of situations where you surround yourself with people who you know will drink. You can control yourself, but it's much harder to control yourself if you're at a bar with three friends who are drinking.

 

In the Army (and other services), when you go to schools or short assignments, we call it TDY, or temporary duty.

I have a TDY drinking problem. I'm away from my wife. In the evenings, I'm stuck in a hotel or barracks with nothing to do. So, what do I do, head to the bar on post -- where beer is almost ALWAYS cheaper -- for a couple of beers with the guys.

I'm bored, so I drink. Hmph.

I'll have about five months of continuous TDY that begin later this month. God please let me have a work schedule that allows me to play golf nearly every day!

 

Have you ever read AA's "Big Book"? Even if you don't think you're AA material, you might take a glance through it some time, particularly the Doctor's Opinion and the first three or four chapters. It might help you decide if you really have a problem. It might not.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

I post this as one whose struggles w/the bottle have been fairly well-documented on this board, but those posts have probably been lost to history.