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Questions for God

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by alleyallen, Feb 27, 2007.

  1. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    Do you really look like George Burns?
  2. spaceman

    spaceman Active Member

    What's the closest you've come to nuking yourself?
  3. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    God Said No
    by Dan Bern

    I met God
    On the edge of town
    Where the wind meets the stillness
    Where the darkness meets the light
    Where the ocean meets the sky
    Where the desert meets the rain
    Where the earth meets the heavens
    On the edge of town
    I met God

    I asked God
    Do one thing for me
    Send me back in time
    Send me to Seattle
    Let me go
    Find Kurt Cobain
    Take away his gun
    Take away his bullets
    Talk to him
    Make him wanna live
    Tell him how we love him
    Help him see his glory
    God Said No
    If I sent you back
    If you really found him
    You would only ask him
    If he could
    Help you get a deal
    If he knows a lawyer
    If he can help you
    God Said No

    I asked God
    Do one thing for me
    Send me back in time
    Send me to Berlin
    Let me find
    The one they call Hitler
    I will stalk him
    I will bring him down
    I will bring along
    A powerful gun
    Loaded with bullets
    Obliterate his memory
    God Said No
    If I sent you back
    You would get caught up
    In theory and discussion
    You would let your fears
    Delay and distract you
    You would make friends
    You would take a lover
    God Said No

    I asked God
    Do one thing for me
    Send me back in time
    Send me to Jerusalem
    Let me go
    Let me go find Jesus
    Let me save his life
    As they try to kill him
    Let me take him down
    Down from the cross
    Take the iron from his body
    Try to heal his wounds
    God Said No
    If I let you go
    If you really found him
    Walking with the cross
    You would stare
    Your tongue no longer working
    Eyes no longer seeing
    Ears no longer hearing
    God said Time
    Time belongs to me
    Time's my secret weapon
    My final advantage
    God turned away
    From the edge of town
    I knew I was beaten
    And that now was all I had
    God Said No
  4. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Outstanding! I recently watched Oh God Book II.
  5. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
  6. Overrated

    Overrated Guest

    About 4,500.

    And, no I'm not god. I just play him in bed.
  7. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

  8. John

    John Well-Known Member

    Should I get this thing lanced?
  9. I have no desire to ask God a question.
    I have always pictured myself in front of him at the end:
    God: Any questions?
    Me: No ... but, thanks. I had a hell of a ride and I'd love to do it again sometime.

    I would love nothing more than to watch clips in heaven.
    Who are the 11 funniest men in the history of the world?
    Can I see the top 100 most unintentionally funniest moments in history?
    Stuff like that. ...
    AND I gotta see a what Helen of Troy and Cleopatra looked like.
  10. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member

    Is there a Santa Claus?

    Maryann or Ginger?
  11. TrooperBari

    TrooperBari Well-Known Member

    How long before the Cubs win a World Series?

    How is Bill Hicks these days?

    How baked were you when you created the duck-billed platypus?
  12. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    One lump or two?
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