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Queen of the North Woods in the Big City!

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rosie, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. Rosie

    Rosie Active Member

    Just wanted to say another THANK YOU to all you who gave hints and tips on my drive to Chicago.

    I made it here -- and I did take I-90, but it was around 8 p.m. when I went through Rockford, so it wasn't that bad.

    Quite the interesting drive....

    And by the way, toll booths SUCK! ;D
  2. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    Enjoy, Rosie! Hope you get some good shopping in...
  3. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    It was interesting because you passed through a huge chunk of Wisconsin, right?  :D

    And Illinois' tolls can lick my sack, especially galling is the "Fuck You Wisconsin" toll booths on I-94 right after you cross the border.

    One of the these days, I'm going to call all Convoy on them and I ain't a gonna pay no toll.

    The road will be filled with loads of screaming trucks, (me), and some long-haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse microbus, 10-4!
  4. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    I've never seen so many tollbooths in my life as driving through Illinois. Hell, to leave my hotel and go get food i basically had to pay $6.
  5. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    OMFG, great reference!

    Though I'd rather see you hit downtown Pagosa Springs missing a top row of chickens...
  6. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    You know, I just looked up the lyrics to Convoy and that's a disturbing fucking song.

    To summarize ...

    Prologue: Bored as fuck truckers, no doubt tired of pounding their puds, start a convoy.
    Verse 1: "Rubber Duck" and his meth-ed up (O,K reefered up) buddy decide to drag race in their Kenworth's haulin' logs.
    Chorus: Some flunkies they drafted from Roy Clark's cadre of Hee-Haw back-up singers puts the hammer of trucker defiance down! Ain't nothin' going to get in our way!
    Verse 2: Good clean, interstate truckin' fun turns into cop killing that rivals anything Ice T or NWA put to disc. They had 85 trucks in all and those bears was wall to wall. They even had a bear in the air! How then am I supposed to interpret the fact that, "this here's the Duck were about to go a-huntin' bear!"
    Verse 3: C.W. McCall and his trucking cop killers lay waste to I-44 in Missouri and "Chi-Town". Uh, bullshit, C.W. That convoy is stopping dead in its tracks after the I-90/94 interchange. Not even a convoy of a thousand screaming trucks can defeat the traffic clusterfuck that is The Region.
    Verse 4: After killing bears in their chicken coops from coast-to-coast, the trucking convoy rocking through the night ends up on the east coast and commits mass suicide. That's what I imply from crashing the gate on a bridge doing 98! Good fucking Lord, this was David Koresh mixed up with B.J. & The Bear. Who knew?
    Chorus: Now the chorus implies us to join the "convoy across the USA" A subtle way to encourage you to off yourself. Freaking Ozzy was more subtle in Suicide Solution. If Guyana had roads and Flying J stations, I'm not so sure Jonestown wouldn't have taken place at a rest area.

    What the fuck was going on in the 70s? How did truckers somehow get equated with the fatalism myth of cowboys and shit?

    The only mythical things I can think of about truckers is their Tales of Brave Truck-Stop Ulyesses, aka, paying hookers with bong residue and half-empty cans of Red, White & Blue in their cab beds whilst avoiding the clap, and their near God-like ability to quickly apply Prep H to their throbbing post-coitus piles.
  7. Rosie

    Rosie Active Member

    Bubbler, you're pushing it! :p I escaped Wisconsin years ago for a reason! ;)

    And just what is up with the 'safe and sober' campaign going on from Eau Claire to the border? I saw more state troopers in that stretch than I have in my entire life! Yikes!

    I'd sure like to know the story behind the vehicle that had "Goodbye Seattle" written on the rear windshield. I think I saw that near Madison.

    Cadet, drove by the mall you told me about, we may be heading over there in a little while -- depends on what the rest of my friends want to do.

    Do you think I'll be arrested for the toll gate not registering my 15 cents when I got off the expressway? I was not going to dig for more change to get the red light to change to green -- they'd gotten enough of my money!

    One of the gals wants to go to the Cubs game Saturday. Anyone know if it's hard to get tix?

    Oh yeah, and it's hotter than Hell here!!!!!
  8. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    That's only around Chicago. The rest of the state is normal, at least until you get south of I-64. Then they start waving Confederate flags.
  9. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Sounds like Indiana (Hi OTR!).
  10. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Illinois is a wonderful mix of cultures, isn't it? ::)
  11. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Um, they're playing the Cardinals.

    Signs point to yes.
  12. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    Best part about it isn't just the mall, it's the area around the mall, too: IKEA, DSW Shoes, Container Store, Lands End Outlet, etc.

    Cubs tickets will be difficult, unless you want to do standing room only :-\
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