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Prep Column on Soccer Team

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by LemMan, Jun 22, 2006.

  1. LemMan

    LemMan Member

    Hey gang...any and all comments are appreciated.

    Inhale. Exhale. Jump back to the past and bid farewell
    to the pain.

    Saint Stephen's boys soccer team capped practice in
    ritualistic fashion Tuesday
    by running laps. Split into two groups, the players
    followed the chalk lining of
    Turner Fields, tracing the meticulously-drawn path
    down each sideline, behind each
    goal and around the field's four corners. Judging by
    the panting and wheezing, it
    was as fun as showering with steel wool. Luckily there
    was some solace on the
    home stretch.

    It came in the form of a giant billboard overlooking
    the field, the one with the plain
    lettering and Pepsi logos. The one letting the Falcons
    know all about the tradition
    they have been entrusted to further.

    Eight district championships. Five regional
    championships. One state championship.
    All since 1995. All listed in Saint Stephen's colors
    of green and white.

    Give it a quick glance. Suddenly those legs don't feel
    as rubbery.

    "I wouldn't really say it's like a burden," junior
    co-captain Dale Peterson said. "It's
    more of something that inspires."

    There hasn't been much evidence to prove otherwise.
    Despite graduating eight
    players and starting three freshmen, Saint Stephen's
    enters this afternoon's
    home game against Maitland Orangewood Christian with a
    mark of 10-1-1.

    What was supposed to be a rebuilding year has sparked
    the familiar talk around
    Saint Stephen's, talk that the Falcons are special,
    that they have a chance of
    winning it all, just like the 2001 team did.

    Guys like Peterson, a center-midfielder who has 14
    goals and eight assists, believe
    they can put a trio of '06s on that board. They
    believe it's their job.

    "I think it's something we've come to demand out of
    ourselves," Peterson said.

    It's up to Marc Jones to handle the rest. The Falcons'
    head coach, who doubles
    as a middle school math teacher, is in charge of
    adding tradition to the mix while
    subtracting all the pressure. You want the pride of
    the team's past to carry your
    players, not crush them.

    "It's never a negative for the teams coming through,"
    Jones said. "What we're
    finding is success breeds success."

    Maybe it was tradition that fueled the Falcons last
    year, when they won a regional
    semifinal game a day after former Falcons star Steve
    Raker died in a car
    accident. Maybe that's how Saint Stephen's rallied
    from a 2-0 deficit to beat
    Lakeland Christian on Dec. 16. Maybe that's why the
    Falcons' freshmen are playing
    like seniors, and seniors such as Nick Cooper, Josh
    Jackman and co-captain Harris
    Smriko, along with juniors Matt O'Carroll and Jared
    Bellingar, have morphed into
    excellent leaders.

    Of course it's talent. But every team is blessed with
    an assortment of that. Not
    every team can draw on what Saint Stephen's can --- a
    past so well-crafted that it
    mirrors the line of chalk the Falcons trotted on
    Tuesday afternoon. But that line
    was perfect, not in need of any altering.

    The other line, the one on display on that simple
    billboard welcoming fans to
    Turner Fields? The Falcons can extend that one as far
    as they want.
    --END--
     
  2. friend of the friendless

    friend of the friendless Active Member

    Mr Man,

    Some of the phrasing I question.

    Saint Stephen's boys soccer team capped practice in ritualistic fashion Tuesday
    by running laps.

    Clunky. Needs to be more active. The coach blew his whistle, ordered them to run laps, the leg-burning ritual ending to practice ... something like that.

    Then to the teams that ran the laps before them ...

    Maybe this is just me but it does seem a story that you back into.

    Judging by the panting and wheezing, it was as fun as showering with steel wool.
    Luckily there was some solace on the home stretch.

    Showering with, etc ... wouldn't that be screaming and bleeding instead of panting and wheezing. It seems like you back in and then go sideways.

    The coach had them running laps. Though they didn't like, though nobody would, they did it -- inspired by the championship teams, obliged, whatever.

    Anyway, those are my loose thoughts.

    YHS, etc
     
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